Reverse Culture Shock, David Henry, and Halloween

A view of our bedroom in Bujumbura with baggage getting packed. Notice our stylish mosquito net hanging down from above.

When I left off last week it probably did not sound so good, and the good news is that I was due for a reversal of fortune. I endured my last 2 days in Burundi, recovered from the illness, and had a nice send off from our church and a dinner with Emmanuel Ndikumana our pastor. We had a fascinating conversation about what it means to be an expatriot in a place like Burundi. In a time of crisis, when does one stand in solidarity with one’s brothers, and when does one leave on account of security. Especially among Christians, he challenged me with the question: Can we rely on you? For Emmanuel the answer is that ultimately all friends (foreign and domestic) will fail us, but we can rely on the love of God and the mercy of his son through whom we can endure all things. He has been tested more than once in this regard.

I left the next morning, after a late night packing. (Ultimately I just threw one suitcase inside another since I went with pretty much nothing.) All my clothes here are not suitable for fall or winter in the USA. I did my best to prepare all staff salaries, and other house business for Isaac before going. I feel like I left more things untied than completed—but I was not missing that plane.


The route went from Bujumbura to Nairobi (short) where I spent 14 hours in the transit lounge (photo here) before leaving for Zurich. That was a lot of time to kill and fortunately I found a wireless hotspot and updated my Facebook account, chatted with friends and wrote a good friend (Republican Christian) a long argument about why she must vote for Obama for President. (Don’t get me started please.) But the time did pass.



The flight to Zurich was overnight on SwissAir and relatively comfortable. I spent another 5 hours in transit in Zurich. This was a mad clean airport! I walked around and had a $20 Continental Breakfast. Finally I boarded United for my last leg- the flight to Dulles airport. This flight was not very smooth, and after 30 hours of travel I was definitely over it. But the nasty little surprise at the end was the worst. A front had come into Dulles just prior to our approach and we had severe crosswinds as we landed. I don’t think I can remember a landing that was that scary in my life. In order to keep the plane going in a straight line to the runway, it was tilted at an angle that made the wing look like it would hit the runway first. The landing was rough and uneven and rocked us back and forth a lot. It was definitely the last straw for me after many rough weeks without my family. But it was over and I was back. Oren was waiting for me at the airport and it was awesome to see him. (The photo here shows how dark the sky was when we landed.)


Culture Shock: It is strange how much more affected I have been, even in this short a time, by reverse culture shock, than by my experiences of life in Burundi.

I almost forgot:

1) that October is not uncomfortably hot here.
2) the highways are smooth, well maintained, and all cars don’t smell like diesel fuel
3) that the air is not dusty and polluted
4) that I can drive down the street in town and not feel like I am going to hit a three year old walking alongside the road.
5) what raw apples, lettuce, fresh milk, and chicken meat tastes like.
6) that refrigerators keep food cold here.
7) sugar is not brown and full of rocks
8) ants on all the food in the kitchen is not just a way of life
9) you can drink and brush your teeth with tap water.
10) I don’t have to pay my dishwasher.
11) all beds don't have mosquito nets
12) the contents of a toilet should disappear when flushed.
13) jogging is not an extreme sport involving diving out of the way of motorcycles.
14) driving ≠ sweating

All in all, it is a bit disconcerting, the prospect of being here for 2 months in the beginning of this assignment. There is a way in which forgetting all of these things is important in order to the work there and being reminded means having to readjust. This time we will be returning in the cold of winter. The last time we went it was mid summer, so the difference will be even more pronounced.

What is great though is seeing family and planning to visit friends. That is what I love most about here and Burundi. We have developed a close group of friends there even in this short time, but we also have so many loved ones here who we are excited about seeing us. Here are some dates for those of you to be aware of:

We are in US together from Oct. 29-Jan 6, 2009.
We will be based in Baltimore but will plan a visit to the Hudson River Valley between November 20-24th. I will be at Final Showings at Vassar on the 20th and 21st and at PUMC on the 23rd. Rebecca’s cell is 845-891-4580 if you want to coordinate with us.

Since Rebecca and I are reunited again, I asked her to write a mom’s eye view of the delivery of our Son DAVID HENRY MOSLEY! Take it away Rebecca--

We were relying on some split-second timing around our baby’s birth. Much to our surprise and delight, everything worked out according to plan. Paul arrived home safely on Tuesday and had a little time (probably too little time) to get reconnected with Oren and me before we left for the hospital on Wednesday morning.

It is truly a surreal experience to give birth to a child by a scheduled c-section. I just showed up at the hospital, filled out paperwork, and was prepared for the operation. Within a matter of 10 minutes after entering the OR, the doctors were pulling David Henry out into the light. One of the first comments about him: “he has big hands!” The process of closing me back up was not as pleasant. But on the good side, a nurse positioned a mirror so that I could watch as our new son was cleaned up across the room (a much better choice than looking up at the reflection on the light above me, which showed what the docs were doing to me!). I was grateful to be so much more alert this time and able to enjoy the first minutes and hours of David’s life.

It has been a great blessing to deliver this child in Baltimore. David was welcomed and held by all his immediate relatives here within a day of his birth. His two grandfathers were really touched at meeting their little namesake. Paul and I definitely feel that Papa Dave and Grampa Henry are great role models for our son, not just because of their professional medical achievements but because of the kind of choices they’ve made in their lives to use their training for the benefit of the poor and their characters as loving fathers and husbands.

Paul and I have had to split duties between David and Oren. Oren has needed more attention from his dad in this process. He’s come to the hospital for several short visits, and he thinks his little brother is pretty fascinating…but not quite as interesting as the toy subway car David gave him to celebrate his big brotherhood. I have, of course, stayed in the hospital to recover, and have actually enjoyed the quiet time to get to know our new son. He is such a sweet, undemanding child so far. It’s wonderful to just watch him sleep. For a newborn, he spends a remarkable amount of time looking around contentedly with open eyes. I’ve had Paul and both grammas stay overnight with me on different nights and I’m grateful to have so many loving family members around to support us.

Last week, before David was born, good friends of our family, the Bollingers, hosted a baby shower for us. It was so special to spend that time with extended family, good friends, and long-time friends from the church where I grew up. People were so generous in giving us practical gifts and cute new clothes for David. One gift was a fun little pumpkin blanket and pumpkin socks. Grammy Bunny and I couldn’t resist dressing him up last night and taking him for a walk down the hall of the maternity ward (and I’m glad that I’m already able to be up and walking around).

Back to Paul…

The last real experience of culture shock worth noting was going to Oren’s preschool to witness a Halloween parade. I am a new dad who has not set foot in a preschool until now. (Oren just started here. When he returns he will continue with the only difference being that it will be entirely in French.) Being surrounded by parents, flashing cameras and overly excited children was a pretty traumatic experience, especially when my little elephant boy sat down in the middle of it all and picked his nose incessantly for all of the group shots. (It is interesting to note that nose picking in public is acceptable behavior in Burundi, and one will see it often in the middle of a formal dinner, church service or business meeting.) I guess he is still trying to make cultural adjustments too.