The Etiquette of Fasting

A red bishop bird that sits in our mango trees in the morning. I think he might have a nest there.



Because it was a weekend that was not terribly overscheduled, I actually tried to write this entry on Saturday. But I just could not get started. It is interesting how this discipline, which at times I am just not in the mood to do, really seems to be a steady pulse that gives a rhythm to life here. Whether or not I ‘feel’ like writing is never a question I ask myself. I sit and write because it is Sunday evening, and that is what this time is for.

I have been thinking quite a bit about spiritual disciplines and the patterns that give rhythm to our lives after our retreat last week. I am aware, both as a parent, and as one in a cross-cultural situation, how important it is to be able to find patterns that renew, but also give a sense of comfort and familiarity. I do not know how writing this blog has become that for me, since I have never ‘journaled’ prior to this, but this chronicling of my reflections of our family’s experiences here has been a real blessing to me.

On the topic of spiritual disciplines, I mentioned that Rebecca and I have committed to fasting from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon every week. We did so again this week which has the added benefit of saving on doing the dishes when our house staff is not around on the weekend. Saturday’s feel like a good day usually beginning with the SALTers coming over for a yoga-stretch class that I lead. We then play with the kids some after that, midmorning. This is community work time, so we are not really allowed to go out and drive around anyway.

This Saturday we were invited to go to with Oren to several Birthday parties. The first one was for Isabel, the daughter of some South African missionary friends of ours Tim and Jeanette. They had a very nice party in which we were invited for lunch. One thing I realized, is that going to social gatherings that involve food are a bit tricky when one is fasting. Temptation not withstanding, the bigger problem is what to tell the host. Should one say it in advance, like telling others you are a vegetarian or something? Only it is not a matter of preparing something special, but rather preparing nothing. At a large gathering it is easy to go unnoticed, as long as the host is not overly persistent. (I focus a lot on preparing plates for Oren and David, then feeding David.) The real problem I have with telling people is that it sounds so darned self-righteous and I am certainly not doing this to impress anyone.

Actually the reason we chose to do it was because of the constant reminder we have of hunger here. So many children go to bed without enough food--children that we see and know. But what is even more difficult is the fact that it takes a tremendous amount of will to not get FAT here as a foreigner! It is so sadly ironic: Those who ‘have’ always have access to more and more, and those who ‘have not’ often have it taken away from them. I cannot tell you how many times I have been invited to the house of a poorer family, on a viste sur terrain, where we rich mzungus are invited (and obliged) to eat first and are given a huge meal while the children of the family wait patiently, watching, for whatever leftovers will remain for them. (They eat, or do not eat, out of sight later.) The fasting seems to give me some connection, however artificial, to those who really are going without meals by necessity and not choice.

So that is enough about the etiquette of fasting and spiritual disciplines. We had a fairly normal week after our very busy week last week. We have been preparing for the end of our programming year and the beginning of next year. (Our year ends at the end of Feb.) We are receiving our partner plans and have begun the process of translating them and putting them in the data base. We have also been doing some evaluations of our SALTers in their job situations. We had meetings with all of their supervisors last week. I think it was very fruitful, although I am becoming more and more aware that getting at ‘facts’ or truth, through direct communication is very difficult. Typically in a direct conversation, people will go out of their way to represent things as going fantastically well, but to get to the bottom of any problems may require an intermediary or someone who can indirectly communicate between the both of you.

I also had another opportunity on Thursday to meet with the burgeoning ‘National Committee of Churches’ to help them wordsmith a unified message of peace and reconciliation (we did not quite get to that point). Typical of meetings here, it was scheduled for 8am, but the facilitators actually showed up at around 10am to begin setting up. It did not seem to really bother anyone so I did not complain either. There was a very auspicious group in attendance including bishops of every major denomination as well as many independent churches and even the arch bishop of the Anglican church in Burundi.

Oren has been continuing with his French afternoon tutorial 3 times per week after school, and it now seems to be making an impact. He does seem to be retaining some of the vocabulary he is learning in school. Rebecca and I struggle along in our own language lessons, but generally there is slow, steady improvement.

Thursday we all started to notice we were getting sick with a cold. By that night several of us were coughing and sniffling in the night. By Friday and Saturday Rebecca and David sounded the worst and Rebecca spent quite a bit of Saturday in bed. This meant I had to put the kids to bed again and get the dinner put away, but I am getting pretty adept at being Mr. Mom after my primer two weeks ago.

We went to church today, both our morning service, then to the English fellowship in the afternoon where Rebecca and I led Sunday school. We make a pretty good, funny team, and taught some worship songs with really crazy dancing and sign language. I think Rebecca’s years in youth ministry are really paying off.

Next week we are off to Rwanda to meet with partners, so keep us in prayers, and look for us on Skype. (Good internet connection!)

News does trickle in slowly. I cannot tell you how little we hear about what is going on in the world. We did hear about Haiti and have been receiving reports about even those in Bujumbura who lost their lives there. Fortunately we did hear that the MCC Haiti reps and team had survived as well as the World Vision staff (although their building was damaged I believe.) A family who had 3 children in Oren’s school (Ecole Belge) and was quite beloved by many here were caught in the hotel and the father and two children did not survive. I have no doubt that many of you know someone who was affected by this earthquake. MCC has been receiving many, many donations as they are part of the response team. If you would like to donate go to. www.mcc.org.