Driving Back Into it with a Visit Upcountry

Our driveway as we found it when we returned from the US, it is very narrow as well.

The discipline of writing comes from doing out on a schedule rather than when I 'feel' like it.  Sunday night is getting late, we are home from a birthday party for Ella, the 2 year old daughter of our service workers Nate and Lara.  It was a nice party and we saw several people we don't get to see to often.  Kids are now in bed and Rebecca, Spencer and I are having a 'mac party' sitting around our back room all in our own private computer world.

This was definitely a week to shake off any cobwebs of vacation lethargy and tackle some of the urgencies left untended during our absence.   Monday through Wednesday was calm enough, primarily spent in relational work--making phone calls, visiting and receiving friends, reconnecting with service workers, etc.  We met Zachee Monday and had dinner with him.  Among the things we discussed in this meeting was his plan to step down from his position at MCC and the plan for hiring a replacement.  (He has been with MCC for 10 years and wants to go back to his civil engineering career.)  It will be sad for us to see him go, but I understand that it is the right thing for him to do professionally.  I have no doubt that Oren and Timmy will remain friends and I hope we will see Bridget and Zachee as regularly even when he does not work with MCC. 

On Tuesday the climax of the day was dinner, when we hosted a group of short term missionaries from Scotland led by none other than our dear friends Val and Charles Carr!!  They have been the subject of past blogs but had left Burundi about a year and a half ago.  (We are forever indebted to them for helping us move into the house they were renting and leaving a trampoline in it.)  We had a smashing evening together and in some ways it felt like they had never left.  (Although they were not making this trip with their children.)  They had come to check up on the orphanage project they had worked on when they were here and had brought some other friends and benefactors to see the work.  We had dinner and told stories about the 'good old days'.  It was great to see them again, although it did remind us of how hard it has been for us to create a really good small sharing group here with all the turnover of ex pats.  There are few people here that we have had such a connection with as them.

Wednesday was another work day although I did squeeze in an opportunity to swim as well.  The first time I have done so since being back.  I was sad to add the opaque look of the water to my list of disappointments upon returning.  It seems that their filter broke, they ran out of chlorine, or something else, but I can no longer see the bottom of the pool.  I am going to hope they fix this soon.

Thursday we planned to head upcountry to visit Jodi in Burasira.  I have to admit I was not relishing the idea of the long treacherous drive up the mountain and then the hour or two on the very dusty road that goes from the closest town to the small community where she lives.  To make it even more complicated, Thursday was the Presidential inaguration and we had heard rumors of extensive road closures and delays in the city as well as some security concerns as there was to be a large presence of foreign dignitaries.

Nonetheless we headed up about 10am without incident.  The drive turned out to be a pleasant one as the weather was cool and there was not much traffic on the road up the mountain.  We arrived at Jodi's in the afternoon and I was amused to hear David immediately start shouting "Cows! Cows!" as soon as we could see the seminary next to her house.  I was surprised he remembered our past visits and seeing the barns of the seminary farm which housed cows, pigs and rabbits.  As soon as we let him out of the car, he headed straight down the road to the stables rather than into Jodi's gate, with Oren following close behind.

The kids really enjoy being in Burasira and running around the gardens, the seminary cloisters, and Jodi's yard.  They also like to help dig in the garden.  

Jodi was doing well and the big news for her was the purchase of a tiny parcel of land where she hoped to grow chick peas.  We walked over to it (about 20 mins from her house) to see it with the kids in the late afternoon.  As usual, we were followed by a large group of children, fascinated by David and Oren.  I was not prepared though for the 'culture shock' of meeting the farmer in the plot next to Jodi's.  His family had a small shack where his wife, and 4 children lived.  I could not believe how emaciated the arms and legs of the kids were and their bellies bloated with worms or because of malnutrition.  They smiled at us nonetheless and greeted us politely.   I was struck by the strangeness of the 2 landowners, with roughly the same size parcels of land: a college prof cum missionary and an uneducated peasant with a wife and kids.  

Jodi had some plans to help ammeliorate the situation in the community a bit.  Tilling in Burundi is done with a hoe, so tilling her field involved hiring about a dozen people to work 10 hours a day for a week hoeing.  I asked her how much the going day wage was here and she said 50 cents a day, (although she is planning to pay 75 cents).  She is planning to hire some of the poorer members of the community to help.   She also hoped to hire the poor neighbor to be a guard for her property as stealing crops from a field is a matter of course here.

One concern she had was the problem of fairness.  It has always been our experience that whenever one does something, especially involving opportunity for making money it is often met by more resentment from those who do not benefit directly than gratitude by those who get to earn it.  The saying "no good deed goes unpunished" is certainly applicable here.  Jodi was aware of this, but it is always hard to hear complaints about her efforts to do something positive in the community that is not just a matter of direct charity.

Rebecca made an interesting observation based on the parable Jesus told about the landowner who hired people in the morning, then afternoon, and then evening, and paid them all the same, a day's wage.  In the parable the one's who happily agreed to work in the morning for the wage, were resentful when they found that everyone got the same wage for the work they did no matter when they started.  The master rebuked them for focusing on comparison rather than the generosity of the master whose perogative it was to pay what he chose to whom he chose--after all, all received a full day's wage, no one received less.  

Jesus tells the parable to talk about grace and the fact that all receive it fully, not based on work, but based on God's generosity, no matter when one recieves salvation.  But it does point out the fact that grace is not 'fair'.  And this was something the teachers of the law always struggled with.

But looking at the parable as a lesson for development workers, Rebecca pointed out that when you give something good or generous, that blesses some, it is always impossible to please everyone.  Every action produces some negative and some positive results.  It will please some and displease others EVEN when all receive some net benefit at the end of the day.  That should not be a reason to do nothing, but just an important thing to remember about human nature.

We went back to Jodi's house and spent the night Thursday which featured garden vegetables she has grown including an arugula salad which was delicious.

Friday was going to be a test for Rebecca and me.  We had an important meeting scheduled with Jodi and her supervisors at our partner organization.  The problem was, the meeting was to take place in Gitega, the nearest town an hour and a half away by car on a very difficult road.  We planned to go in the morning, have the meeting, then come back to Burasira in the late afternoon.  The problem was, what to do with the children.  Rebecca and I both needed to be in the meeting so even if we brought Oren and David, they would need child care.

Jodi proposed leaving the children with her very trustworthy cook and gardener, (the cook is a mother so she knows about childcare, the garden is an energetic young man).  After long consideration, weighing the pros and cons, we decided this was the best option.  Oren and David did not seem to mind being left at Jodi's and the farm when we departed.  The cook and gardener planned to take them for walks to see the animals and let them play outdoors, color, etc.  The hard thing for Rebecca and me is that this would be the first time we left the two children alone while we went to do work in another place more than 5 minutes away.

The drive to Gitega went well enough (serious carsickness notwithstanding) and we had an excellent meeting with Innocent and Beatrice, the husband and wife directors of UCEDD, our partner organization that runs the Hope School for the Batwa.  They are such interesting people and always shed new light on many things we are doing.  They did observe, for instance, that the purchase of land had created some tension in the community over who Jodi was buying it 'for'.  (The idea that a mzungu bought it for herself for personal use is not a very comprehensible idea for the community.)  But Beatrice had helped to make them understand that this is what had happened.  

We also talked about what Jodi would be doing for the school this year and it seems she will focus on developing an English curriculum for the primary school and train teachers to teach it.  The discussion was very good and she left feeling very good about her mandate for this year.  

We drove once again down the dusty road to Burasira, anxious to get back, and arrived about 4pm.  We found David playing quietly in the living room with cars and Oren digging in the garden.  They barely looked up at our arrival.  It seems they had amused themselves the whole day and were quite content, even without an excessive amount of high technology, video games, etc. to entertain them.  We asked the cook how they had been and she assured us that they had behaved very well and were quite happy the whole day.

That evening we had dinner at the seminary with the priests.  We have come to know them well over the past 2 years and we wanted to say Hi, especially because 2 of them were going to be return to their diocesse, having completed their 'terms' as teachers there.  Abbe Deo, and the Pere Econome (financial manager) were both leaving.  They had been very helpful in getting Jodi set up at her house (which we rent from the seminary) and we were sorry to hear they would be leaving.)

It was a very nice evening, where we sipped a bit of pineapple wine (preferring that to banana beer) that is made at the seminary by the nuns, and ate a delicious Burundian meal.  Oren was very polite and greeted all the priests in french.  David was a bit more difficult as he constantly tried to escape out the dining room door to run down the hall to the place where they keep a pet monkey.  (David has not ceased to be an animal lover.)

We left Saturday morning for the trip back to Bujumbura.  It was not one of our better journeys.  Rebecca became extremely car sick and the kids were very impatient to be done with the ride.  We arrived exhausted around 2pm.  Unfortunately there were a few urgent errands waiting for us when we got back and I ended up running around for several more hours after that.  By 4pm though we went to the pool for a brief swim then had a pizza dinner at Ubuntu restaurant with our South African missionary friends Tim and Jeanette and their daughter Isabel.  It was good to see them and find out about how they have been doing.

Sunday we went back to church and were blessed to see some friends who had returned from our early times here.  Galen and Delia and their 2 sons were visiting Burundi for some business.  They had left a year and a half ago because she had had a cancer diagnosis.  She is still taking chemo, but she looked well and it was good to hear Galen preach.  Galen and Delia had also been part of our prayer and share group when we were first here in Burundi so it was interesting to see them here the same week we had seen the Carrs.

Sunday evening we went to the Horsts for a Birthday party for their daughter Ella (2).  It was a nice visit and Oren was quite happy to see his friend Jal again (their 7 year old).

I am finishing this blog Monday morning after my swim.  The photo at the top, showing the rocks that were put in the ditch as a makeshift driveway is no longer accurate.  They took the stones after I left, leaving our car, for the time being, stranded outside the house.  It is hard, because I tried to reason with them that it made no sense to destroy the driveways before they were ready to rebuild (and it is weeks before!).  I swear it was liking trying to reason with Oren about putting away his legos before he dumped out all his blocks.  They just stared at the crazy ranting mzungu shaking their heads in glassy-eyed incomprehension then went about their business.
  

Bonus photo:  Here is a family portrait we had done in the US when we were home.  It came out really well in my opinion.

Jetlagged in London, Nairobi, Bujumbura

Jetlagged, David was up at 2am stomping around the Nairobi guesthouse room in my sneakers and brushing his teeth.  Luckily the rest of us were already awake as well. 

As I sit here at 11:30 pm in our family room in Bujumbura, I find it hard to believe that I spent at least half the week in my parents' house in Baltimore.  It already seems like so long ago.  We came back from dinner with Zachee at Khana Kazana the Indian restaurant here about 2 hours ago, and we have been trying to come up with a good plan to get two very jetlagged boys to bed when they feel like it is midafternoon.  They just finished watching a movie and now they are brushing teeth and chasing each other around the bedroom, not promising as far as settling down.

The last two days of our time in Baltimore are a bit of a blur, but I do remember making time for at least a few important events.  One was another hike with Oren, David, Grandma Jean, and the cousins Miriam and Gabriel.  We went to a park called Oregon Ridge.  It was a fairly hot and sticky, but hiking relatively alone through the woods was one of the last events worth savoring.  On Tuesday we went once more to the pool where Miriam and Gabriel's family are members.  Despite the threat of rain, it turned out to be a fine day to swim.

We also squeezed in trips to playgrounds, constructing and deconstructing Granny's trainsets and tinkertoys, driving and peddling the various kids vehicles, and watching family videos like Winnie the Pooh and Pinnochio.

Tuesday night we had a plan for closure, we dropped the kids at Aunt Gwendolyn and Uncle Paul's so they could play with Miriam and Gabriel, while Rebecca and I had dinner with our parents (Bunny and Henry and Dave and Jean).  We had salmon, corn on the cob, and swiss chard, for the meal, then we sat together afterward to reflect on the best and most memorable moments of the time together.  Afterward we prayed in turn.  It was very good to be able to try and say things that one always wants to make sure are said before separating for a long time.  

As a benediction to our time together, my mother shared a psalm #126.  The last verse says this:

5 Those who sow in tears
       will reap with songs of joy.

 6 He who goes out weeping,
       carrying seed to sow,
       will return with songs of joy,
       carrying sheaves with him.

The passage spoke to her, I think because of releasing us to go back, but it spoke to me as I thought about what working in what seems to be in such a desperate context.  I was beginning to feel the clammy, anxious feeling of powerless creeping over me even before we had left the US.  But the image of assistance which does not pretend to be able dry all tears and end the present sorrows, but might offer seeds for a future harvest of joy, is a thought-provoking metaphor.  "He who goes out weeping CARRYING SEEDS TO SOW will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."

Wednesday was a scripted day to leave.  I had planned to get up very early and do a last run through the woods or perhaps even around a nearby lake,  but when I looked out the window at 7 am it was cold, pouring rain, and looked like it had not started recently, nor would end soon.

Rebecca and I finished packing all of our bags.  We were fully loaded bringing double the number back we had come with.  The grandmothers had their last moments with the kids, then Dave and Jean drove us to Dulles airport, about 3 hours away.  

The trip was gloomy, weather-wise, but without event.  We said our goodbyes to Dave and Jean in the afternoon and headed to our gate for a flight that would depart to London at 7pm.  We got on board the BA 747, watching the rain pelting the windows and took off into the sunset.  

It was a short night as the flight was 6 hours long, but we arrived at Heathrow at 6am the next day.  We had a 5 hour layover in Heathrow where the kids enjoyed running around the transit lounge.  The real exhaustion hit, mercifully as we boarded the second 8 hour flight to Nairobi around noon.  Although it was 8 hours long, we stayed in daylight for most of it.  Despite that, the kids and us slept for a lot of it.  

We got to Nairobi and our guesthouse about 9pm.  By this time, of course the kids were wide awake again.  We struggled to get them and us to try to sleep by 11pm, but we all found ourselves awake at 2 and watched movies, read, and played for several hours before falling asleep just before daybreak.  We all slept in until late morning.  Luckily we had a 2 day layover in Nairobi.

We were treated to a visit in the afternoon by Ruth and Krystan, our service workers in Rwanda who were in Nairobi for the birth of their first baby, a girl, Misha.  They are planning to return to Rwanda as soon as they can get through the paperwork including getting a birth certificate in Kenya so she can get her Canadian passport.  With the speed of Kenyan bureaucracy, my sense is they will be tied up there for some time yet.  (Luckily Ruth's parents work for World Relief in Nairobi so they can stay with them.)

The last leg of our trip was scheduled for a 4am departure from the guesthouse by taxi to catch an 8am plane.  The flight is short, about an hour twenty minutes, but we feared that this particular leg would test us as parents more than the others.  It began well enough: since everyone woke up again at 3am, we were readily to leave easily by 4.

But by the time we got to the airport the testiness of sleepless nights began to set in and Oren's contrariness became especially hard for us to deal with patiently.  We were relieved to get on the plane, but getting off and into the Bujumbura airport was not to easy either in terms of testiness.

Luckily we have resident visas and the processing did not take long.  The sight of Zachee at the other end of the gate was extremely welcoming.  Oren even perked up a bit at seeing Papa Tim.  (Sadly Timmy was not there as he and Bridget are in Canada right now for a short vacation.)

I have to say something here about my anxiety and anticipation about returning:  I am used to the fact that when one returns 'home' to Burundi, and one's domicile, things have always suffered a bit from a far more savage entropy than what we are accustomed to in the US.  Even after short weekend trips upcountry, I wonder what I will come back and find broken or mysteriously 'no longer working.'

When we walked out of the airport with Zachee and found his small toyota waiting to take us home rather than our spacious landcruiser, I did not take it as a good omen.  Between Zachee, me and 2 porters we managed to stuff all of us and our luggage into the car and headed home.  Zachee told me that the battery in my care died the day before and he could not get it fixed before he came.

We had not gone far before we hit a police blockade where we were inspected carefully, then another, then another.  It might have been more intimidating if the police would not break into peals of laughter at seeing a carload of mzungus stuffed together with luggage like a matatu (taxi bus) of Burundians coming from Congo.  They made many cracks about abazungu abakene  (poor white folk).  

The multiple police stops though was a new thing and Zachee told me that the security situation in Burundi is deteriorating as at least one opposition party has fled to the hills and is beginning to train a rebel army.  The threat of an Al Shabbob attack has also seems to be more imminent than ever. 

With no car and a deteriorating security situation, I was wondering if the worst of unpleasant surprises on  our return had about ended.  But it hadn't.  We were surprised to find that the culmination of the battle between the ditch diggers and road graders on our road which had started about a month before we left had now come to the point where there was literally a 4 foot deep moat around the front of our house, our driveway had been demolished and a tree next to our gate pulled out.  The day before our staff had had some help filling in with stones and boulders a makeshift driveway across the ditch so we could even enter with a car, but it was pretty unbelievable.

The repair on this will not be happening soon. Here in Burundi, the department of interior does things one step at a time.  They plan to do all the ditch digging and demolish every driveway in the entire quartier before beginning rebuilding.  So they have weeks of work to do.  The bad thing about this way of working is that if and when they run out of money, they stop working, no matter where in the project they are.  It appears they ran out this past week.  

By comparison, the further disappointments of finding our electricity out, our internet not working and our cell phones and landlines all nonfunctional seemed like small stuff.  Fortunately our house sitter Spencer was fine and the house seemed in good repair otherwise.  

(Trust me, all the things mentioned above were not the fault of anyone's incompetence, Things Fall Apart here and just about everything requires maintenance at least once a month.  Everything that happened all happened in the last couple of days.)

Despite our thorough exhaustion, we did need to put on a short act of hospitality and politeness for a few well wishers who had come over to greet us as we drove in the driveway.  (A Burundian tradition I am not crazy about).  We spent Saturday sleeping and unpacking, feeling somewhere between lethargic and numb most of the rest of the day and night.  

We spent another sleepless night with kids getting up but not on the same schedule.  But we did not want to miss church.  Zachee had been able to deliver our car back to us, but when we loaded in and tried to drive, it did not start.  So we called a cab and went to church.  Fortunately arriving a bit late to a 3 hour service is not too problematic.

It was really good to see our church friends!  I am glad we are part of that faith community and they were happy to see us too.  We were also thrilled to see Charles and Val Carr, our Scottish friends of yore who were bringing a mission team to Burundi.  We will have dinner with them on Tuesday.

We finished off the day with Zachee taking us to Club du Lac T for a swim then, as I said at the beginning, dinner at Khanna Kazana.

Well the kids fell asleep, finally, with Rebecca in our bed while I was finishing this.  I am looking forward to tomorrow when we can begin to solve the problems that greeted us on our return.  My goal is to have a car and phone that work by the end of the day.  I am glad I took time to reflect and savor the moments while we were vacationing with our families, but now the time for resolve and action is again at hand!

Trying to Do It All in our Last Week

 Last Saturday's family reunion dinner with my brothers' families. Dad is at the end of the table. 



I should start right off with an update on Dad.  He looks pretty good sitting across the room right now.  He did go to church this morning, one week after the heart attack, and taught Sunday School!  (This was a bit of a surprise to those who had brought "get well soon" cards to pass around and sign.)  Actually, as I write we are sitting together in my parents' family room watching some TV before turning in.  Two dear friends, Charlene Reinke and Louise Carlson stopped by for dinner.  They are people Rebecca and I have known since our childhood and who have kept up with our lives ever since.  Earlier today (this is Sunday), we had lunch with other family, Rebecca's aunt, uncle and cousins (Brad, Jo, Colette, Daniel, Jonathan) with their kids.  They are also people we have known since childhood here and we had a great afternoon catching up.

It is amazing how short a month is to try and see everyone you need to see but haven't for a year and a half.   I would say our attempt to do so has failed despite some heroic efforts and all we can hope is that next year's home leave (3 months) will be sufficient.  This is our last Sunday in America and in fact we only have this Monday and Tuesday to finish up shopping and getting ready for the long journey home on Wednesday.  I will be writing next week's blog from Bujumbura, (I hope our Internet still works.)

The week was full again although as we waited for dad to come out of the hospital Monday and Tuesday, those days seem like a blur of watching the kids, saying good bye to my brothers and family, and going to the hospital for visits in rotating shifts.  I do know that we went shopping one day and took Oren and David to the shopping center by light rail train.  (A thrill for Oren.) And we had a time to visit with Mark and Christine one morning by ourselves.

By Wednesday, everyone had left my parents house except for Rebecca and I.  But we did take an opportunity to spend some time with her family as well.  Rebecca's parents offered to baby sit all of the cousins on their side so that Rebecca's brother and wife could go out to dinner with us.  We had a very nice evening together over Italian food.  It was good to have some time alone with them, and I felt very satisfied that we had been able to have such a gathering with each of our brothers and their wives.  

We also eagerly anticipated Dad's arrival back from the hospital on Wednesday but were disappointed that the doctor did not want to release him until Thursday.  He remained in good spirits and enjoyed visits from friend and family.

Thursday stands out as particularly unusual because we left the kids with their grandparents and Rebecca and I went to Akron, PA, to MCC headquarters.  It is just over an hour away and we wanted to check in and get some business done quickly that would have taken weeks to do over the Internet.  MCC headquarters is a friendly, supportive place and it was good to stop in and talk to Bruce, the Africa region director and other international programs staff.

We had half a dozen meetings before leaving about 4 in the afternoon to head home.  (I did notice that there was extensive preparation going on for memorial services related to the death of Glenn Lapp, the MCCer who was killed in the massacre of aid workers in Northern Afghanistan last week.)

We drove back to Baltimore, hitting an outlet mall along the way to do some shopping for supplies and gifts.  We got back close to Dave and Jean's house and stopped for dinner on what was our second 'date night' this month.  We had a fantastic dinner at a restaurant in Fallston, MD called Josef's.  We got back to the house in time to tuck the kids into bed.  It was a tiring but rewarding day.  We stayed the night at Dave and Jean's house then headed back to my parents' for lunch.  The report from the grandparents was that Oren and David went with them and their cousins to the train museum.  (Oren, as mentioned in many past posting, is obsessed with trains, and this was his second trip there in 3 weeks.)

Friday afternoon was quite a change of pace.  We took the kids bowling with Rebecca's brother's family.  We decided to do this as part of a birthday celebration for Oren's cousin Miriam, but also because it has begun to rain daily this entire past week and this was an interesting indoor activity.  Bowling was definitely a game with too many rules for Oren and he did not get through it without a tantrum.  David, however, thoroughly enjoyed rolling the duckpin balls down the ramp anytime anyone would let him. After that we went back to Rebecca's parents for dinner and cake.  The kids really enjoyed playing and eating together.  

The big surprise ending to the day was a trip to see the Aberdeen Ironbirds (minor league baseball team) play a game, followed by fireworks.  Our kids had never seen a baseball game.  Neither was particularly enthralled by the play on the field but both enjoyed walking around the seats in the small stadium, eating cotton candy, and waving at the mascot.  Oren insisted on staying to the end despite the fact that they went 2 extra innings before winning, because he wanted to see the fireworks that followed.  They both loved the whole experience and stayed up until we got home about 11pm.

One thing that began to change this week is the weather.  It rained a lot this week, something we did not experience prior to this.  It has put a damper on our spirits a bit and combined with the heart attack and the impending day of departure next week, has lent to the mood a feeling of melancholia.  We did enjoy a brief reprieve from the rain Saturday and took advantage of the sun to go with Paul and Gwendolyn, Miriam and Gabriel (Rebeca's bro's family) to their swimming pool.

It was really like paradise, as good as any vacation resort.  Several pools, including 3 kids pools, 2 water slides, diving boards, a log roll game, etc.  Oren and David were in heaven as they are such water lovers.  Oren was like a fish going off the boards and down the slides dozens of times.  David even went down a little slide several times himself (I was at the bottom to catch him).

Saturday evening was Miriam's official Birthday party and we joined several other families at their house to celebrate.  Oren had brought a large stuffed snake all the way from Burundi, like the one he got for Christmas, for Miriam.

We stayed the night once again with my folks after the party.  It was great to see dad in good health and spirits and he told us he would be going to church the next day.

Rebecca and I decided to spend our last Sunday at North Baltimore Mennonite Church where she is a member to say goodbye to friends.  The sermon was particularly interesting: the pastor discussed a biblical worldview on spiritual realities and spiritual warfare, and how that challenges the western intellectual Christian worldview. It generated a lot of discussion afterwards.

It is a very late night and I should be going to sleep.  I am not particularly tired, probably because I am thinking about the fact we are leaving soon.  I admit that it will be nice to be back in a room without suitcases all over the floor and children back to a normal bedtime routine, but I will miss the family and many comforts here.

I wish there was a way to impress on others here how great it is to visit a place like this, to help others see what the blessings are here and not confuse them with entitlements.  I think these are the normal feelings of culture shock.  But I would also want to say how grateful I am that we have many friends and family member here who feel called to be serving others at home, rather than going out on mission.  For many, there may be an appeal or a sense of awe at seeing someone who would go away from home to serve in another culture.  But I deeply appreciate those who are settled, have made a home, and provide hospitality, love, and support to those of us who are transient. It is an even harder thing to remain immersed in this culture while trying to live with integrity and a spirit of service.  I miss being here with those we love, even as I anticipate our return.

Probably the hardest thing about a trip home, as I reflect on preparing to leave, is to realize I am too small 'mentally' to simultaneously embrace both realities.  Right now, Burundi seems like a distant memory, perhaps from childhood, and Baltimore seems so vivid, as if I never left.  But I know from experience that the moment I step off that plane into the warm, dry Burundi air, I will do a mental flip and this place will fade into the distant past again and the reality of Bujumbura will be what I know and remember.  I suppose this is not particularly profound, but I am not looking forward to the jarringly short experience of transitioning between the two.  Perhaps because coming here had the cozy feeling of reentering a nurturing womb, while being there feels like a harsh more naked reality.

I'll let you know how that goes next week...


Postscript:
Several of you have asked how you might support the work of MCC in Burundi and Rwanda, so I am providing the link to a website that talks about our Global Family programs.  These support the Hope School for the Batwa and Mwana Nshuti, the vocational school for street kids in Rwanda.  https://donate.mcc.org/global-family

How Can I Keep from Singing

Cousins playing together at Charter Hall in a dog cage.  There were times when they were so wild I think the parents would have been happy to keep them there.


I am starting this blog on Monday morning having spent a part of Sunday evening in St. Joseph's Hospital. The events leading up to this are, I believe, a testimony to God's mercy to us on our vacation, even in the face of some very frightening circumstances.  But these events unfolded at the end of the week and I will start at the beginning.

We are continuing to enjoy our 4 very short weeks at home in the US.  We have been here for 3 weeks now, and spent the second week in New York and this past week back in Maryland.  We got back to Baltimore on Monday but went to Charter Hall, a retreat center deep in the back water estuaries of the Chesapeake Bay in Cecil County.  It is secluded and quite beautiful.  Rebecca's parents have a share in the retreat center and we went with them as well as our parents, Rebecca's brother's family and my nephew Fletcher (5 year old son of my brother Jonathan.)  All said we had in tow 8 adults, five children under 7 and one standard poodle (a decent ratio).  

We stayed in a dockhouse right next to the bay and spent 4 days there.  (Tues. through Friday)  It was a lot of fun as we were able to take the kids canoeing and kayaking daily.  We also went swimming in the lake and small pool on the property, and did numerous indoor activities including games, puzzles, and building forts with the mattresses and pillows on all the various bunk beds on the second floor.  The kids had a great time and even enjoyed some of the adult activities like bird watching and nature hiking.

We cleaned up and left on Friday afternoon to return to Baltimore.  The next 3 days were to be dedicated time to a family reunion for my family.  When we got back to my parent's house my brother Mark and his family was already there (wife Christine and 2 daughters Abigail and Grace) from North Carolina.  Later that evening my brother Jonathan and his wife Emma arrived from Nashville.  (Their son Fletcher was already here.)  They all stayed at a nearby hotel while my family stayed at the house.  We had a great time getting reaquainted Friday evening and during the day Saturday.  

Saturday evening was a really special time though.  We played at the hotel pool in the afternoon then   we had a family dinner all together followed by about an hour gathered around the table playing riddle mystery games.  (I actually heard one I had not heard before.) 

After clearing the table we gathered in the living room for a family devotional time.  We have been doing this less and less as the family had gotten larger and younger but we attempted it Saturday.  Dad shared a devotional on Hope and read a passage in the Bible from Titus 3.  We shared a bit about what it meant to be together again and then he prayed for us.  

We ended the evening with ice cream and went to bed, many of the kids staying at the house.

About 1 am I heard a phone ring then my brother Mark came in the room I was sleeping in next to Oren and whispered for me to come out.  I went down to the kitchen where he was sitting and he blurted out suddenly:

"Dad is having a heart attack."

The words seemed to etch themselves into my brain stem and ring endlessly in my eardrums.  I know that many of you have had that experience of suddenly hearing frightening news and feeling that kind of existential vertigo.  I could not even make sense of what he said.  Wasn't dad upstairs sleeping in his bed?  Was there an ambulance here?  Where was he?  How could this be happening?

He explained that Dad had woken up with chest pains about midnight and had mom take him to the hospital.  Apparently when they got there he was given an EKG and they told mom he was having an MI (myocardial infarction).  He was in great pain at this time and they gave him nitroglycerin which relieved it a lot.  They then sent him to get a catheter inserted and stint at a cardiac unit at another hospital.  

My mom called my brother Jonathan first (he is a physician) who met her at the hospital.  When I called them, they were enroute to get the catheter put it.  I decided that I would go meet them there while Mark stayed at the house with the other unaware slumberers at the house.  

I got to the hospital about 2 and dad had already had the catheter and stint put in.  The cardiologist came out to talk to us and told us he was resting comfortably and that the catheterization had revealed a nearly complete blockage of the artery that feeds the left front ventricle.  (Extremely serious) but that the intervention with a stint seemed to have been a success.  (my brother Jonathan later told me they call an occlusion of that vessel a 'widow maker'.)

We were able to see dad in the ICU and he did look calm and comfortable.  We talked through the experience with him and how he felt.  He was in good spirits and was not 'drugged' and groggy.  He was very happy to see us there with him.  

We stayed with him until about 5:30 am and then let him sleep and we went home.

Sunday morning at 7am I was up again with the family.  Rebecca was preaching that morning and we had to get ready for that.  We faced a mountain of technical nightmares as she was using a computer and projector we would have to set up, as well as printing out her sermon on my Dad's computer.  It seemed like nothing worked at first but by the grace of God we got it all to work before church started.

She did an excellent sermon and I am posting a link to an audio file of it.  It is called "I will rejoice over Bujumbura".  I took care of the kids but had help from Rebecca's family as well.  I have to admit I was fried and my head ached from all the trauma of the night before.  We got home about 12:30.  (We are still used to hearing and preaching Burundian length sermons.)

News from the hospital continued to be good and my brother Mark spent the day there.  I decided to honor a promise I had made to Abigail and Grace, his daughters (12 and 9) to take them to a movie:  Step Up 3D.  It was a hip-hop/ breakdance movie.  I really love those kind of movies but I was terribly disappointed that the theater we went to did not have 3d.  I was really looking forward to my first 3d movie!  Despite the thin plot and no 3d, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

We got home in the evening and I went over to the hospital after dinner and stayed there with my mom until 10pm.

By that time all the good news had come in.  Thanks to quick and successful intervention he had sustained no real measurable damage to the cardiac muscle.  He is expected to make a full recovery.  We marvelled together at the many miracles that had come out of this.

1) My dad was in the country.  He teaches extensively internationally, mostly in 3rd world countries, and could have been in Benin, Ethiopia, Uganda, or elsewhere when this occurred.  In any of these places there would have been no rapid intervention and he probably would have died or had severe cardiac damage.

2) Rebecca and I were in the country.  This would have been very hard if we were out of the country to decide what to do as well.

3) That the intervention was quick and successful.

4) We had had such a meaningful evening all together right before this happened.

I am also very glad that my dad has taken care of himself over the years, not a drinker or smoker, or diabetic, so his heart was in decent shape to begin with.

We did pray together and thank God for his goodness to us even in this difficult circumstance.  We look forward to dad coming back home for continued recovery tomorrow.  We do see all of this as perhaps a Divine corrective.  It has made him and all of us remember what is important in life.  He is resolved to slow down a bit and take more time at home with mom and the rest of the family in the years he has ahead of him.  

Postscript:  Seeing dad lying in bed in a weakened state could not prevent thoughts of my own probable future time of diminished capacity.  What will it be like when I am lying in an ICU bed with Oren, David and Rebecca looking down at me? Maybe for the last time?  

I imagined that scenario versus other scenarios of death suddenly, unexpectedly, like the MCC service worker who was gunned down by the Taliban this past week as he was part of the medical team working in Northern Afghanistan to help provide eye care to the poor in that region.  link here

I am wondering if I would have peace in all of these circumstances.  I hope I could smile up at my children and wife and cherish whatever short time we might have remaining together to appreciate the love we share and the hope we have in a life everlasting.  But I would also hope that I would have the courage to face death in other circumstances He might put me in.  

On Sunday we sung a hymn that captures the way I would like to live in the face of the fragility of this mortal coil (particularly verse 3):

 1. My life flows on in endless song, above earth's lamentation.  

I hear the clear, though faroff hymn that hails a new creation.  


Refrain: No storm can shake my inmost calm while to that Rock I'm clinging.  
Since love is Lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?  


2. Through all the tumult and the strife, I hear that music ringing.  
It finds an echo in my soul. How can I keep from singing?  
(Refrain)  


3. What though my joys and comforts die? I know my Savior liveth.  
What though the darkness gather round? Songs in the night he giveth.  
(Refrain)  


4. The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, a fountain ever springing!  
All things are mine since I am his! How can I keep from singing?  
(Refrain)

Every day of this vacation continues to be a blessing and even this past week has served to make the time with family even more dear.

Savoring the Hudson River Valley

Our family enjoying a hike in the Shawangunks in New York.


I don't think I could do justice in words or photos to the events of the past week.  I did try to get a picture for each major event but eventually had to give up as there have been too many to post.  Monday began in Baltimore and after a shopping spree on Saturday I was ready to begin a running routine on Monday morning with a new pair of running shoes.  It has been a while since I have run as it is just a bit too psychologically exhausting to do so in Burundi under the constant scrutiny of curious onlookers.

I started with a short 3 miler around my parents' neighborhood and enjoyed the quiet of the suburban streets so much, I did not dare disturb it with headphones and an ipod.  I was still seeing everything through my "Burundi lenses" and found myself observing many sounds, smells, and sights I would have overlooked in the past.  Probably one of the most memorable was a woman walking a dog wearing a bandana (the dog).  It really struck me how completely odd that would be in Burundi.   Dogs are seen as utilitarian, not pets, and generally they are feared and bred and treated to be vicious.  A decorative bandana would be a very strange accessory for a Burundian dog.

Monday was also a day for doctor visits where I learned that the Burundian diet is not at all good for cholesterol levels (despite all the swimming).  This is not great news as statin drugs are not available in Burundi.  (Quite honestly Rebecca and I have been so worried about avoiding infectious diseases like typhoid and malaria that we have given little thought to problems like cholesterol or high blood pressure.) On Tuesday, we really enjoyed a family outing to the Aquarium with my parents.

Wednesday was a travel day.  We headed up to Poughkeepsie NY, our old stomping ground.  We were excited about the trip, even the familiar 5 hour drive through Pennsylvania with our regular stop at a McDonalds PlayLand.  I had forgotten how smooth (and boring) US highway driving is!  I never had to swerve out of the way of anything coming right at me the whole way!

We arrived in the afternoon and went to the home of Don and Rosaura.  (Our friends who visited us about 2 months ago in Burundi.)  Rosaura was out of town unexpectedly, but Don and little Gabriela were there and Oren and David were happy to see her again and play with all of her toys, watch her videos, etc.

We were only spending about 4 full days in Poughkeepsie and wanted to pack in as much of 'seeing our favorite people' and 'doing our favorite things' as possible.  We began well as Don and Rosaura had arranged for some meetings with friends in advance.

Thursday morning I was very fortunate to be able to get together with Bruce Hempel, a brother in the KAIROS prison ministry and spiritual mentor for me.  We spent several hours in conversation together and it was good to catch up on the activities of KAIROS and other activities and challenges he faces as a leader in his church, the KAIROS community, and the father of 8 children.  He remains, despite all this, one of the most patient, peaceful men I have ever met.

We had dinner with our small group Thursday evening at Chris and Theresa Garret's house (some were on vacation, but all families were represented by someone.)  We also had a chance to stop by the church (Poughkeepsie United Methodist Church) where Rebecca had been youth pastor. We were able to see some of the youth off to a Mexico Outreach mission trip.  (This was a trip that Rebecca had started at the church and was now going on in its 7th year).  We do think this trip has been a 'proving ground' for youth in our church and inspired many on to even more ambitious mission trips--particularly the one to Burundi last year where Bridget Marrine, Justin and Alicia Thompson-Gee came and spent nearly a month with us.  (These were 3 of Rebecca's youth when she was the youth pastor here.)

Friday was a particularly good day.  We planned a hike in one of our favorite places in the world--the Shawangunk Mountains--Lake Minnewaska to be precise.  In the past we hiked with only one small child in a backpack, so going on an ambitious hike with both Oren and David proved to be a trial.  We had David in the backpack and Oren walked but was so distracted by finding and eating wild berries growing along the path that we were only able to keep him going for one loop around the lake.  (I swear it was like hiking with a black bear in tow--he picked and ate at least of quart of wild raspberries and blueberries each!)  We were very happy to have our friend Heidi Espinoza join us on the trip.  On the way home we stopped at a farmers market and bought some sweet corn which the kids proceeded to eat raw as soon as we shucked it that evening at Don's house.

On Saturday we began the day by joining Don at his produce pick-up from the Vassar Farm cooperative.    We used to be members when we lived in Poughkeepsie and always enjoyed fresh vegetables in the summer from there.  We also took a hike on the grounds with Oren leading the way this time.  The afternoon was another opportunity to see friends.  Alicia Seling nee Thompson-Gee, who had recently gotten married, was having a reception in Poughkeepsie at PUMC, her home church.  We enjoyed seeing her as well as many others in attendance from the church.  It was a great afternoon of fun and fellowship.  Oren really enjoyed getting reacquainted with the church playground and wooden trains he remembered from his time there as a toddler.

We ended the evening with a special treat--a visit to Debra T's ice cream parlor where we spent time with Don and Jeff Hart from small group who was there with his daughter Aly.  Oren, David, and Gabriela spent several hours playing on the wooden train playground in the back of the open air restaurant.  Rebecca and I enjoyed our nostalgic fixes of ice cream (I am a sucker for mint soft serve with  chocolate sprinkles.)

Sunday was the apotheosis of all these get-togethers.  We attended the two morning worship services where we spoke during a missions moment in each.  Rebecca assisted with communion (for old time's sake) and gave a brief presentation between the services.  We also enjoyed hearing Bridget Marrine (one of the youth who had visited us in Burundi last year) preach a sermon about her experience in mission.  It was touching to hear her tell of ways in which Rebecca's time as youth pastor had shaped her personal faith journey and led her to serve God in places as remote to New York as Uganda and Burundi.

It was very emotional to worship in this familiar setting after spending about 2 year worshipping in a cross-cultural setting.  I was personally very deeply moved by the Voices In Praise, the morning praise choir that I used to be a part of in the early service.  They sounded great, and when they sang "Salvation Belongs to Our God" I confess that the lump in my throat was too large to allow me to emit a sound.  I just held up my hands and closed my eyes.

We were out of church just before noon and I mused to myself that the timing for two services and the break in between was shorter than a typical single service in Burundi.  (I am not too 'Holy' to admit I like a shorter service :-)  But our perception of the time there is that PUMC is really vibrant and thriving and we were happy to feel that the ministries to which we had contributed in the past were continuing to bear fruit.

After the service we went to a picnic in the park 'in our honor'.  It was a fabulous gathering with great food.  We made our best effort to re-connect with old friends and find out all that has been happening for them in the past two years (an impossible feat) but did catch up with a few.  Oren was thrilled to be reunited with old childhood friends and several of his babysitter/girlfriends that he used to spend time with when his mom was youth pastor.  The picture here is him with Sarah and Laurel Hicks and Mikela Shields.

We ended the evening at Don's house eating Mexican carryout from Mole Mole, a dive we really liked.

We left Poughkeepsie on Monday morning after a breakfast with Michelle Whalen and Joanne Jensen, two of the administrators who were in the dance department with me.  It was a teary reunion and a bittersweet reminder of who and what we gave up to work in Burundi.

Rebecca and I continue to be affirmed in our decision to go to Burundi, but I felt very compelled to tell those who were in Poughkeepsie that they should never take for granted what a blessing it is to live in the Hudson River Valley, one of the most beautiful places in the world.