A Farewell to Dogs and Other Adieux

Saving money, we decided to send David and Oren by airfreight.

It’s awfully difficult to sleep during our last days in the African Great Lakes region. So much to think about and process and plan for. So many details to think through. So on this last day in Kigali, I find myself up at 3 am, giving Paul a boost for one of the final blog posts of our sojourn in Burundi.

This past week has contained a wonderful, dizzying blend of final visits with friends, mixed in with frantic disassembly of the house we have lived in for 5 years (we moved to it near the end of our first year in Burundi). Actually, we moved into 2 houses that were completely set up, and included lots of other peoples’ useful things (and a little junk). We’ve done little to diminish the contents since.

And so, in spite of sorting and clearing things out for our leaving sale more than a month ago, I’ve found out in the past week that our “empty” closets and drawers still seem remarkably full. I have thrown away at least 3 rice sacks full of precious kid’s artwork. I have filled about 10 large baskets with random items that I can’t imagine how anyone would use, but they aren’t quite trash – and shown them to our house staff, who miraculously “disappeared” about everything.

Alongside that, I’ve been packing up all the useful pots, pans, dishes, pharmaceuticals, bedding, books, and misc. for the Rep replacement couple to take on. That’s all in one pile. There was another huge pile in the garage (once we liberated the garage) for a new volunteer to set up her household in Gitega. All categories, including furniture. There was our row of 8 suitcases, bound for Europe and then our new home in Baltimore. Another suitcase for our last week and trip to Kigali. Various piles of leftover things that would bless one friend or another. Some things to donate to our church.  And I’ve just been spinning from one pile to the next, dropping things off in the appropriate location, pausing to check Facebook to see if someone has agreed to buy this or that piece of unclaimed furniture or want to rent our beautiful house starting in August. I will confess that with all this packing and clearing out, I’ve been as close to having my head explode as I’ve ever been in my life. Because almost all of the sorting and packing has taken place between the hours of 8:30 pm and midnight, to leave room for the RELATIONSHIPS!

We have had some very lovely, meaningful final visits with people who have been important to us. On Tuesday afternoon, we invited our house staff to come share Fanta’s with us, together with their families. I had seen Odifax’s children the week before when I dropped him off at home with their newborn baby (after paying the hospital bill). It was so wonderful to welcome them with their 4 older children and newborn to come see our house. Finally his kids know where Odifax has spent his working hours, and they got to meet Oren and David. Our substitute cook Ghyslaine also brought her 6-year-old daughter. All the kids really enjoyed trying out the trampoline and rolling around on the

scooters. Gaspard, our night guard, couldn’t bring his family from up-country, but we enjoyed seeing him happy in his new job, back with the Hieberts. And Marceline came a bit later, with her now healthy 2-month-old Jakin and her husband. It was a joy to serve Fanta’s and snacks with this group, to share speeches. Very moving at the end as we asked our staff to pray for us, especially for Paul’s employment moving back.

We didn’t get a photo of it, but right after that staff party, we met the whole Miller clan for dinner at a new-to-us Chinese restaurant. There was so much to talk about and share about – our faith heritages, how Free Methodism gets worked out in Burundi, the realities of life here as foreigners. Our kids had their own table and enjoyed themselves, giving the 6 adults (including Janette’s parents) time to really talk and share. We were grateful for that quiet, meaningful time of closure with these good friends.

On Wednesday during the day, we kept working on chores – Paul finally completed the process of moving ownership of our vehicles to Scott. Oren and I snuck away to Buja Day Spa for an hour – I had promised him one last outing to do a pedicure together. It’s not just pampering to get that kid’s feet in better shape! He hates shoes, and his feet really take a beating around here.

Our collective family activity that afternoon (after continuing the brain dumping with our replacements) was the disassembly of our beloved trampoline. Scott and Anne Marie and kids worked together with us so that they would know how to put it up again when they are fully established in Kigali. It was certainly not an easy project! Getting all those springs lose under hundreds of pounds of pressure took all of us pulling together. We were glad to have fully used the trampoline the day before with our staff’s kids.

We took some moments that evening to recognize that it was our final family teatime on our own veranda in Burundi. It was a lovely evening, made sweeter with thoughtful music that Paul finds and a Good Earth/Rooibos blend in the pot. The mountains of Congo were even a faint shadow for us behind the dry season haze. We have enjoyed many wonderful evening moments in this spot as a family.

Later in the evening, special friends from our church bible study came to pay us a final visit. Goretti Niragira, and her daughters Sonia and Ariane have become dear companions on the journey as we have talked and prayed over the past two years. There are many requests that we have seen answered over those years, and several big ones that we are still waiting to see fulfilled. The waiting and hoping and trusting in God together have drawn our hearts together. These ladies blessed us with a unique map of Burundi, cut out of local fabric.

Sonia, Ariane & Goretti

On Thursday afternoon, we took time off to meet with members of the Carlson family for a really unique outing. The women of my Wednesday morning ladies’ bible study blessed with the farewell gift of a photo shoot, done by the very talented Mrs. Kristy Carlson. She offered to help us document special places and events of our life here in Burundi as a memory (one that would fit more easily into our suitcases also!). So Kristy brought over her son Myles (Oren’s friend) as her second shooter and we messed around our house for a while. We took our dogs for a little walk to buy milk at the local boutique a few steps away. We mimicked family teatime. And then we headed off for the zoo!

Oren and Myles digging holes at the beach.

Our kids just love their close encounters with wild animals, so we did all the normal things you’ve read about in past blogs: scratching the leopard behind the ears, pulling the banana snakes out of their cage, feeding Kita the chimp peanuts. We even agreed to feed one last guinea pig to the ever-ravenous crocodile (how else does a third-world zoo animal get fed??).

 Our last stop was Pinnacle 19. I guess messing around with animals has been a theme of our life here! We had a lot of fun playing with Avril, who even wanted us adults to pick her up and cuddle her this time. It was a gorgeous evening and we were so glad that Ben and little Neo could also join us for a final time of drinks and conversation. It’s always so meaningful to discuss this transition with other expats who have been alongside us during this journey.

On Friday afternoon, we enjoyed a very different kind of closing event on the beach. Our MCC Burundi partners organized a “Fête de depart” for us at Petit Bassam, a fairly new children’s playground. Oren was thrilled to have an occasion to go back there one more time. For most of the evening, through the dinner and speeches, Oren, David, Samuel and Luke had a blast, jumping on the vast bouncy castle, trying out the trampoline with the harnesses, going on the little train ride and the carousel, even swinging on the modern swing sets – all of these attractions are absolutely unheard of anywhere else in Burundi.

On the adult side, we had a good time of speeches and sharing, between our partners and ourselves, remembering many times we have passed through together. 

It was actually a real encouragement to see these partners organize such an event and invite us to attend. It certainly shows the strength and maturity of our Burundi partner coordinators. 

Their work is effective (not just in throwing parties) and their personal testimonies continue to inspire us.

On the way home, we made one final stop at Ice World, one of the kids’ favorite spots. Oren can now fluently order his ice cream creation of choice in French, with all the changes he wants to make to it. That night for me was the final push in packing and sorting – Paul was starting to panic about whether we would be ready to move out of our house the following day. With reason. I stayed up til 3 am, working on emptying the final corners, and still didn’t finish.

Oren ordering at Ice World

But we still had FINAL YOGA. A really nice group of people accompanying us, right to the end of our term. For the final session our Ethiopian friends Genet and Melkamu joined for the first time! 

Final Yoga brunch

We still had a few moments to linger over coffee and cinnamon rolls (though we used plastic plates and all the broken mugs I hadn’t packed up). In between, a guy came to buy our old beat up salon set. It was incredible to see the way he transported it out of our house: the three-seater sofa, 4 armchairs, 1 coffee table, 2 side tables and cushions all went onto the back of one bicycle. Who needs a pick up truck??

By 11 am, we were in a frenzy of moving out. Well, we didn’t move the entire contents of our house to the nearby apartment on bicycles ourselves. We actually did hire a pick up truck and taxi to help us out, both of which were fully loaded and rolling by 11: 45. We were glad to have some friends and volunteers stay to help us move boxes in and out. We also needed to fit in a final visit with our newest volunteer, Sata, and with our old nanny, who dropped by with her basket gift. There are definitely different categories of final visits, we’ve found. One group of people wants to bless us and pray for us and share with us—I’d say those are visits from friends. There have been a whole other round of visits from “clients,” who always also come with a request or need. Several clients have found it incredibly difficult to part from us, and have come to say adieu two or even three times, with a request every single time. This leaving process is starting to get far too expensive for us! We’re starting to understand why many Africans do not announce their final departure dates until just a few days before they leave: this doesn’t represent lack of planning, but rather fiscal wisdom.

Which is a second reason we were finding it more and more pressing to MOVE OUT OF OUR HOUSE!!! First reason: it was almost impossible to finish the packing when our children were circling behind us, pulling things out of boxes and out of the trash, creating new messes, and needing to be fed meals, which create more mess. So, on Saturday afternoon, we loaded most of our packed suitcases into Melkamu’s car and dropped them off at the guest apartment of German missionary friends Sam and Sabine in a far away neighborhood. What a Godsend to land in that peaceful, well-appointed and equipped little hideaway!

There was also the dog drop-off. Our predecessors, the Hieberts, are back in Burundi. They agreed to reclaim their old dog Bella, and also to foster Noël (who will go to our replacements in January) for the time being. The Hiebert girls were so excited to see their new dogs and we are so grateful and happy to be leaving them in a loving home. But it was clearly very hard for Noël (who has never changed owners or even slept outside our compound in her life). Noël was literally climbing back into the car with us as we tried to pull out and she had to be leashed and held onto tightly. She literally worshipped Paul; so to be parted from her master is very, very difficult. Bella seemed to take it all in stride, fortunately.

We closed off the evening with a final dinner together with other German friends, Markus and Nicola and boys. They have been in Burundi almost as long as we have, and we have shared a lot together. Our oldest boys have been in the same class the whole time, and Frederick has really encouraged Oren to learn and use playground French over the years. One thing we will really miss when we leave here is the daily interaction with other parents as we all drop off and pick up our kids at Ecole Belge. There is always a chance to check up on each other, to share a word of sympathy or just a smile. It’s been a real place of connection in our close-knit community.

And so, at 9 pm, we were finally moved out of our home. We landed, exhausted, back in our guest apartment. The work isn’t totally finished. The house is not completely ready to surrender to the landlord. There are still final tasks to do. But we were able to move out, as planned, on Saturday. Whew!

Bonus video: Rebecca holding Avril the chimp at Pinnacle 19.