The Last Dance

Oren preparing his two best toys, Alfie his spelling robot, and Cruncher his robot dinosaur, for our big moving sale.

Sunday afternoon.  Rebecca and Oren are upcountry on a trip to Buta.  This is a sight where a group of Catholic seminarians, Hutus and Tutsis, being educated together in a theology of unity made the choice to die together rather than be separated ethnically by a rebel group that attacked and ordered them to do so.

Rebecca will add a bit more on that next week, particularly our decision to have her go up there with Oren (while she led a pilgrimage with partners of the Great Lakes Initiative.)  We felt it was important for him to see this since he is old enough to understand what had happened and why.

This leaves David and I at home and for the first time in what seems like weeks, we are actually alone in the house.  He is watching a movie which has finally given me time to get a few reflections down about the past week.

These last several weeks are as intense as we have ever experienced in terms of being overburdened with responsibility along with some very exciting arrivals of friends and others we want to see.  Trying to sit down and write can seem oppressive when you are trying sneak in a moment right before bed in which you crash without so much as bathing, thoroughly exhausted.  

It probably began this past Friday when we had a huge moving sale to get rid of much of our furniture and other items.  Oren and David had helped organize this, and each had their own table of their toys to sell.  (They were going to be able to keep their money and buy stuff in the US)  Oren was definitely a hard-core salesman.  It was however, hard on them and we had a few meltdowns in the process, but that is to be understood I suppose as the try to process what is happening.

Last Saturday, though must be preserved for posterity.  It was officially the last folk dance we were hosting during our tenure here.  We did four this year and since we arrived we have usually hosted about one per quarter.  They have become very popular, particularly in the ex pat. missionary community and we wanted to be sure that the word got out well in advance of our plan to host one. 

This one did not disappoint and we had a very large number in attendance including most of our service workers, the new Reps, a majority of our expat. friends, with newcomers to boot.  We especially happy to have some our Burundian members of our small group there as well. 

The dances went well, and it is interesting to even see an evolution of skill over time.  We have settled into a routing of alternating line dances with different folk dances, mainly squares and cotillions.  But we did have a new hora and ceilidh (the Dashing White Sargeant).

Before the last dance we took some time to do some speeches to say farewell and explain the significance of the dances to us in terms of knitting together our community.  I read something I had written in a blog 2 years ago (May 2012), to describe the experience we have had of dancing together here.  I am putting that quote in below: 

David doing Cotton-Eyed Joe

It is at the time of milestones that one feels inclined to reflect on the passage of time, or in the case of living here, the passage of community.  I can say now as an International worker who has been in the same place for 4 years, the meaning of the word 'community' has evolved for me.  Rebecca and I are very intentional about creating community around us.  We did so in Poughkeepsie and Baltimore and we have done so here as well.  The difference is that an expat community is somewhat unique.  It sometimes seems like a very intensely-colored fabric---a scarf or stole that is being woven together at one end as rapidly as it is fraying and disappearing at the other.  At any moment it will be the same length as any other moment, but the pattern will be entirely different.  

And so it is with our communities here.  I marvel at how fast they have changed over the years and yet seem at every moment to be in some way stable.  There is on the front end of the scarf the continual welcoming and inclusion of newcomers and simultaneous heart-felt Adieux for friends who are leaving for good at the back end.

One is only a newcomer until someone else newer arrives, then the first newcomer begins to take on roles of responsibility in the community and its sustenance.  At nearly 4 years Rebecca and I find ourselves in the company of a very few people who have been here longer than us.  There are a few 'senior statesmen' life-time generational missionary families and a few expats who have married Burundians and now call this home, but by and large we are the oldtimers here.  I realize that as time passes we will near and eventually find ourselves at the unraveling end of the scarf and the threads of our lives here will fray away leaving a continually mutating communal pattern making and unmaking itself here in Burundi as people come and go.

The tradition of doing a folk dance was one we inherited from a missionary family named the Carrs.  They hosted a Scottich Ceilidh from time to time which was a lot of fun.  We inherited the house and the tradition of holding dances here.  Their particular favorite was “Strip the Willow” which for us Americans became the “Virginia Reel”.  We usually end our parties with this one, and it seems to fit aptly the community I described above that makes and unmakes itself--continually progressing forward and unraveling at the end.

There is also something unique and mysterious about a community that dances together, especially this kind of structured social dance based on dancing figures and interacting with almost everyone.  It goes beyond what happens in conversation or sharing food.  I wish I could say what it is that is special, but it seems to be such a ritual expression of what community is--a vibrant changing, evolving pattern of relationships that create and dissolve themselves in the perpetual rhythm of living in the moment---the present experienced, instant by instant.  The steps don't change in the Virginia Reel but new dancers join each time we dance it here, often barely able to keep up with the unexpected shift of unfamiliar patterns, while the more experienced ones encourage them along in the routines that are as comfortable and instinctive to them as a well worn path.

Needless to say, we did end with the Virginia Reel after our speeches (and counter speech in the Burundian style- delivered aptly by Simon Guillebaud, one of the ‘mutamas’ of the ex pat. Community.)

Afterward we did dance the Virginia Reel together and it felt particularly significant dancing with Rebecca as my partner down the line of people and back off the end.  Each lead couple finishes by making a sort of bridge which everyone passes under leaving the leaders at the very end and a new lead couple to take control of the dance. 

 

We had a feast together and at the end, many of the missionary families and service workers stayed around to pray for us.  As usual, the dance ended and everyone was gone by 9pm leaving us time to clean up before bed.  I admit, I like parties that do not go too late into the night these days.

Because of the dance, we have had many service workers around.  Melody was down from Gitega and Julia and Teresa were down from Kigali.  We had a full house.  Jennifer and Matt were also around quite a bit with them as well.  Our service workers are very easy to host though so there were no complaints.

Sunday was a surprisingly quiet day and Rebecca and I were actually able to take a nap in the afternoon while the kids played.  We needed the rest after the party the day before.

Stoner-Ebys meeting UCEDD in Gitega

The week was a continuation of orienting the Stoner-Ebys and we took some time to introduce them to partners in Bujumbura, and give them some history of our work in the region.  The previous week I had taken them to Gitega where we had met our 3 partners and two service workers there.

Tuesday and Wednesday of this week were particularly significant orientation days as a donor named Robin Wilde who heads the Foundation for Hope in Africa, a co-donor to the Hope School, was in town.  He wanted to do some strategic planning at the school, but also meet the new MCC Reps. to see if they could coordinate some of their Hope School projects with MCC.

I know him quite well from previous trips here, but I wanted him to meet the new Reps. so we made arrangements to go up the Hope School together.  We left Tuesday afternoon. Pastor Wilde had brought his associate Roger, and the Stoner-Eby’s brought their youngest son Luke. 

It was exciting to me to be bringing  everyone up together, (the Stoner-Ebys for the first time.)  We stayed the night at the seminary.  The priests and nuns were happy to see us and insisted that Rebecca and the kids make one more trip up before we leave town.  We met Innocent there that night and had some meetings about the possible construction of classrooms for the superior cycle of secondary school.

Wednesday morning we went up to the school and were greeted by drummers, dancers, a drummed skit, and many welcome speeches.  It was a great day.  We inspected the many completed projects, the water catchment system, library, solar power, etc. and found it all in working order.

We heard that there were 20 students sitting that day for the national exam to go on to secondary school.  We met with the teachers and directors and talked about strategic priorities.  (Luke took this opportunity to play football with some of the other kids who were kicking around their plastic bag constructed soccer ball. (They only use the real ones during school hours to protect them.)

We left Wednesday afternoon after having a big meal together at the Seminary.  It is very symbolic here to share food as a sign of solidarity and the gesture, was much appreciated.

We got home on Wednesday evening.  The end of the week has had its share of new challenges as arrivals for a final conference hosted by Rebecca begin to arrive.  We were able, however, to have a meal with Simon and Lizzie Guillebaud this week.  (Can’t remember the day.)  Lizzie made a very tasty curry meal since we were all lamenting the demise of Indian food in Burundi.  (Actually knowing that the good Indian restaurants are closed will make departing a tiny bit easier.)

I also did have a special lunch with Oren at Café Gourmand-the best Belgian patisserie, in the Southern hemisphere.  We have found the kids are starting to act out a bit in strange ways and we are having a lot of conflict between them.  We sense that this is due to some sub-conscious anxiety about all the upheaval they are seeing around them as the house begins to get packed up and sold off.  They are particularly hard on each other, so we are trying to do things separately with them.

Oren finished his first week of exams and has one week left.  He seems to be on top of his reviews and we are praying for the best.

The end of this week has included some visits from special guests including Melody's parents and Yolanda (our service worker from last year)  She is here doing research for her dissertation and joined us for yoga and Saturday morning.  (I will add a picture to this post soon.)

Rebecca will be back in a few hours from her pilgrimage and her return will be welcome.  I am no longer great at the bachelor life and many things are not being done, or missing from the fridge. 

We are nearing the last month of our time here, but will say more about that later.  We still have to survive next week!

Bonus video, excerpt from little girls welcome dance