Complicated Acts of Kindness

Among Oren's projects this week, carving a Jack-O-Lantern, he just could not wait until Halloween.

I feel a bit out of synch going into the new week as I just spent the morning at home with David who had a fever last night. This seems to be the inevitable result of his deteriorating sinus condition. His nose has been clogged with green mucous for almost a week and now it seem the infection has set up residence. This is the point at which we pop by the pharmacy to pick up a dose of Augmentin and begin antibiotic treatment which should clear it pretty quickly. We used to see a doctor before starting antibiotics but now we are so used to fighting lingering infections here that a confirmation seems hardly worth the bother.

He was honestly quite pleased to find that he was sick enough to stay home from school, with Daddy no less. We did a half dozen puzzles, played Candyland and watched Dora the Explorer while Oren was at school and Rebecca was at work. I admit I have been feeling a bit under the weather myself so it was not a bad way to start the week (staying home that is).

The weekend prior was not bad at all as far as illness. David started getting a fever on Sunday evening, but we had a very relaxing family weekend where we spent most of our time as homebodies. Friday evening we watched “Prince Caspian” as a family, on a mattress.

Saturday morning started with the regular exercise routine followed by brunch. I think I might have started a delicious arms race to see who can make the best smoothie in Burundi when I prepared a large blender full of banana-avocado-vanilla smoothies for the group to sample. Apparently the gauntlet was thrown down and I expect we will be vying (unofficially) for the title of best smoothie in Bujumbura in the weeks ahead. (not a bad development really given that mangoes are definitely in season now.)

We actually spent the rest of the day around the house doing some deeper organizing and cleaning than we have done in a while and playing games with the kids. Oren is becoming quite good at Carcisonne and came close to winning again.

Saturday evening we went over and had dinner with Thomas and Naja. Oren and David really like to go over to play with Elias and Aviaja. Their newest favorite game is to dress up like pirates and cowboys (from Elias' stock of costumes) and pretend to be bandits. They get the uniformed night guards to chase them around the house. When they are caught they are put in jail (the garage) and have to do chores, like sweeping, until they escape. I don't know what the guards think of the game but they seem to be quite amused by the delight the mzungu kids take in ambushing them and trying to escape from prison.

Sunday was not really routine at all, as I had promised a Mennonite Pastor several months ago to visit a church near the City of Cibitoke, about 45 minutes out of town. I felt this was a good a week as any to make good on my word as Rebecca was teaching Sunday School and the kids were going to be in Sunday School as well. I got a cab, met the pastor at the office and we started off.

The trip was delayed for several reasons, one was a flat tire which needed to be dropped off for repair while we rode on the spare.  The second more difficult problem was finding petrol. This might be the time in the blog to mention that we are suffering from an acute gas shortage here in Burundi and people are in a near panic trying to find a station that is still selling it. This is expected to continue for at least a month and eventually lead to a price increase. It is not as hard on those of us with money as those who depend on fairly cheap public transport, but it takes a toll in other ways, particularly anxiety about running out.

Youth Choir

Long story short, we did find a gas station and the driver filled up the tank with just enough gas (by his estimate) to get us there and back. I was hoping he was right since I did not want to get stuck up there or run out on the way home.

We eventually did make it to the church, only a half hour late, but it was not a problem, I was unquestionably the guest of honor and nothing was going to proceed until I took my place in front of the church between the pastor and the 'Bishop” (or legal representative.)

I do like to go to these Kirundi services from time to time because the choirs are always good. They were not quite good enough to sustain my interest for the entire 4 hour service, but they did pretty well. There were in a congregation of 100, four choirs-- a mixed choir, a men's choir, a women's choir, and a youth choir, all performed about a half dozen songs throughout the service.

I was pleased also to find I am still able to understand at least some of church Kirundi. That is I know a lot of Biblical vocabulary because the text I used to learn Kirundi was written by a missionary and had a lot of these words. I have also been here for a while so it is getting easier.

Pastor Andre with Church in the background, no walls.

The hardest part of these outings for me is the ending. Generally Burundian hospitality is expressed in keeping one as long as possible. When the service did finally end, they insisted that I stay for a meal. I do know that this is always a custom and if food is not shared it is considered to be an unsatisfying, somewhat truncated event. Of course this food may not be prepared in advance, and in this case I waited about an hour for it to arrive.

As is also the custom, eating is done by the 'big men' first. In fact it was only me and the two pastors who were together to share the meal. The choirs were outside the small hut singing. A huge bowl of rice, a plate of fried plaintains, beans, casava bread (ugali), and a stewed chicken were brought out for us to eat. Normally it would be culturally expected that an invited guest would eat enormous quantities of food at a 'free meal', and every time I came near to emptying my plate more food was heaped on without my asking. We did finally finish and were able to take our leave.  I try not to feel like a hostage as I measure mentally the amount of time to linger which will give the impression that I am not rushing off, eventhough that is exactly what I am dying to do.

Going back we had to make several stops, a sick woman from the community hitched a ride with us to a clinic, we dropped off some others, picked up the spare and I did get home about an hour before our small group began at 4pm. (I had left the house at 8am)

In retrospect I keep coming back to this now familiar experience of being treated as a guest of honor--or 'big man' in the way I would describe it. It is a situation which always puts me in deep cultural discomfort; in fact, as a well to do American, I actually find hard to bear. The act of generosity is done in a way that offends me. The well-fed eat while the hungry watch. But I know that there is on their part, not resentment, but a great desire to express gratitude in some way.

I think of Jesus at the house of the Pharisee when the woman came up and wiped his feet with her hair and tears. Or Mary who broke the expensive nard on him. He was able to see beyond the waste and excess and see right into the generous hearts that motivated these actions. I am definitely not Jesus. I can actually do a very convincing pantomime of gratitude and pleasure during the meal, but I am resentful in my heart. I do want to, like Judas complain that this could have been given to the poor.

But then I also think that maybe this is not quite a parallel experience. After all, generally it is the pastor, the non-poor member of the community, that is sharing food with me.  It does make me feel a bit like this generosity is not a big step away from corruption--the local big-man currying favor from his patron in hopes of getting something bigger down the line.  In the Bible story, after all, it is the Pharisee that is hosting the event where the woman anoints and wipes Jesus' feet with her hair.  I don't know what he was hoping to get out of the meeting before she showed up and stole the show.  

Anyway, I can over think it. It is a regular part of my life here as it is undoubtedly a part of the experience of many missionaries and others here. I would be interested in hearing comments from others about how they handle it? I do admit that I am not a good example. I am still not 'big' enough, spiritually, to fully enjoy it as an expression of love and hospitality and not feel in anyway manipulated by it. (Although, I do know that the idea of “I do you a favor and you do me one” is NOT seen as manipulation here. It is just the way things are done.)

By the end of an experience like this I do feel exhausted, perhaps a bit invaded. I really want to hide behind my wall for a while. But the Sunday evening small group is always such a joy, a very diverse group, but a place where I do feel I can really be open and accepted. I am grateful that all of the cultural experiences are not so challenging.

Beatrice, Teri-Lynn, and Saffy

The week itself was busier at the beginning then the end. I actually went upcountry to Gitega, then on to Mutaho and the Hope School. I had several reasons for going. First, I was taking Teri-Lynn (SALTer) and Saffy up there. Saffy is going to do some research for the project proposal she will be writing for MCC about the school. For that, we stopped in Gitega, had lunch with Yolanda, and picked up Beatrice, the education director of the school and headed down the 2 hour dirt road to the school.

The second reason for going was to help Beatrice and the principles of the school come up with a schedule of work for Teri-Lynn. School had been in session for two weeks and she still did not know what she would be doing.

Not that this is surprising in a Burundian school. It is very normal to spend the first several weeks of school just getting the teachers and students back and ready for the year. The fact was, very few classes had been taught to that point.

Hope School Kindergarten

When we got to Mutaho, I spent some time in meetings at Teri-Lynn's house with Beatrice about the work of Saffy and Teri-Lynn. We decided it would be good to bring all the teachers together the next morning (Wednesday) before I had to leave to explain to them what the volunteers would be doing and to solicit any ideas the teachers and principles might have with regard to regular duties.

We had a very good meeting about 8:30 am the next morning and there was a promise of a schedule for Teri-Lynn by the end of the week.

After the meeting I did spend a little more time at the school visiting classes with Innocent, Beatrice, Saffy and Teri-Lynn, but left by mid-morning so I would not get home to late in the afternoon. As it turned out, I got home about 1pm. It was good to back with the family again and we had a nice family tea time that evening. It was good to get back into the weekly routine.

Teri-Lynn and Saffy with Innocent, Beatrice and
School Principles.

This coming week is almost identical with me going up to the school again in the early part of the week then having the last half of the week as fairly normal routine.

Rebecca and I are realizing the increased amount of personnel support necessitated by a bigger team. We are very happy to have the group we have now and it has improved the effectiveness of our work here, but all the travel is taking its toll.

Time to bed, I think I might be getting a bit of what David has. Hopefully it will be short lived.