Survival Tips: What to Expect When You Hit Someone With Your Car

Testing--A picture of Noel, one of our dogs, using the new camera I bought today.

I skipped a week of blogging.  Something I almost never do.  It is a discipline that I really don’t enjoy doing as much as I enjoy being awed by the sheer volume of writing I have done since being here.

I did not skip it because we were overwhelmed by work.  It was a very busy 2 weeks, but the real reason was a loss that hit me harder than I expected.  Not a loss of life, although there have been several deaths of children of some families we know that have hit close to home.   But the loss that shut me down last week was the theft of my camera. 

Theft has been a continuous problem here, but it has been on the increase in our organization in the past several months.  The theft we experience is rarely if ever, violent crime.  Although that is a problem in the poorer quarters it rarely touches expatriates.

But the type of theft we most often experience is a kind of slow bleeding.  Sadly it is usually done by someone who works at the house in small increments.  I have had to help at least one service worker get rid of several house staff, but it seems that money disappears from nearly everyone here, a little at a time.

I suppose it is understandable as prices continue to rise bit by bit, as the currency devalues and salaries remain the same.  I don’t think that theft is a good or sustainable coping strategy, but it seems to be one that is common here to make up the difference.

I think being robbed bit by bit by people you know or trust has a long term effect of weakening one's resolve.  Anger and a sense of betrayal eventually give way to a kind of emotional fatigue.  The masaai tribe likes to take some blood from the neck vein in a cow to mix with its milk.  They do not kill the cow but do receive nourishment from both the blood and the milk.  Ingenious perhaps, but I think I know how the cow feels.

I don’t want to be overly morose, that was last weekend so I have recovered somewhat.  It seems to be a fact of life here and we have generally learned to be diligent and not leave things out that might be temptations.  The camera had been used and was in the car in our driveway with the gate locked when it disappeared.  The likelihood of an inside job is very high.  But I have no way of knowing for sure.

Felix with Rwandese partner Antoine in Kigali

The past week was spent in Rwanda from Monday to Thursday.  It was a trip that was fairly routine as far as being a monthly visit, and it was an opportunity to be in touch and do some worker care for our three Rwanda volunteers.

Felix went with me and we also met all of our partners to sign our yearly contracts with them for upcoming projects since April is the beginning of our fiscal year.   We also met with our Rwanda advisors to discuss aspects of our program including the ongoing challenge of getting long-term visas for our volunteers.  Rwandan immigration has gotten a lot tougher since the M-23 rebel problems in Eastern DRC.  I don’t know if there is a direct connection, but there does seem to be a higher degree of scrutiny of foreigners in the country.

I did not go on any field visits, out of town that is.  Actually I did visit one field, a model field demonstating low tillage conservation agriculture techniques that Mat Gates our service worker has cultivated near his house.  It seems to be doing well and he had some corn already growing out.  We have not started the full-blown conservation agriculture project, still waiting for final approval of the grant, and our partners are chomping at the bit to begin.  Part of my job this week was to tell them to be patient.

The only thing that did not go well was a momentary panic attack when I went to my car and found my briefcase with computer missing after a lunch meeting with our volunteer Alyssa.  I nearly fainted and weakly called Matt to tell him send Felix.  When Matt answered he also asked if I wanted my briefcase and computer which I had left at his house.  I was relieved but surprised at how close to the edge I am after all of the aforementioned thefts.

In field with Antoine and
Alyssa our SALTer

On the way back to Bujumbura on Thursday, Felix and I swung by Burasira (an hour and a half off the main road) to pick up Teri-Lynn, our SALTer working at the Hope School.  There was flooding in her area and she had no water or electricity and wanted a few days R and R in Bujumbura.

I took the opportunity to get some video of her teaching that I will try to post on the Hope School Facebook page soon.  The library is well underway and is just missing part of the tile roof.  I was told that this would not be finished until rainy season was over as the tiles are being made out of clay on-site and right now it is too rainy to let them dry properly.

We arrived in Bujumbura Thursday evening.  It was great to be home with Rebecca and the kids.  Friday morning it was great to swim.  I went to work in the morning but spent the time preparing a sermon which I was asked to preach on Sunday.  Fortunately on the drive home I had had a clear well-ordered inspiration of what I would say. 

Friday afternoon was ballet which had not happened the past 2 weeks because of school holidays.  It was fun to be back and the kids were all there.  We are getting close to a little recital we will do in the first week of June.  They seem to be excited about this.

Library construction.

Teri-Lynn came to the older girls and the adult class.  It is always nice to have a dancer come to class and I think it did inspire the girls and even the adults as I was able to use her in a few cases to give an idea of what the aesthetic is supposed to look like on a trained body.  (There are not a lot of trained classical dancers here.)

Friday evening our family went to Ubuntu and had pizza with Rosel and Isaac Froese some friends of ours who had been here several years ago, as well as Tim and Jeanette.  The kids love to go there at any time.  Probably our favorite restaurant in Bujumbura, still.

Saturday was yoga and a meeting at church which directly followed.  Oren was invited to a knight birthday party of a German friend from school in the afternoon.  He got to make a shield mounted on wood, as well as roast bread on a stick.  Rebecca and I went as well as we are friends of the parents who work with GIZ, the German development agency.

Sunday was church and I felt the sermon went very well.  I was preaching on stewardship and made the point that stewardship is not ownership and requires that we:

1. Know the will of the owner
2. Be willing to submit to his will
3. Do his will in the right way

I actually used the passage of the bad tenants in Matthew 21 to make my point.  I won’t recount it all here, but the last part, doing the right thing in the right way has particular relevance here where I experience, especially among Christians, a tendency to use any means to justify moral ends.

This happens often with situations involving money which is given for one purpose and used for a different one, which may seem ‘higher’ or more urgent than what the giver intended.  Accomplishing good ends in the wrong way is just as bad as doing the wrong thing.

I gave the Biblical example of Saul lighting a sacrificial offering when it was clearly not his job.  Ultimately Samuel complained that “ To obey is better than sacrifice.” 

I talked about the freedom one can find in voluntary submission, rather than coerced obedience by describing my own experience in learning classical ballet where submission to a ballet master led to an experience of physical and artistic freedom I never could have accomplished on my own.

Forced submission makes one a slave, and is a gospel preached by slave masters, but voluntary submission leads to a freedom we could never obtain in our own power.

I will leave it at that.  It seemed to be well received and after church we went to Club du Lac for lunch.  On the way home we tried to drop Teri-Lynn back on a bus to go upcountry but there were no more seats so she came back home with us.  She participated in our small group which was a bit of an odd gathering with only a few regulars.  Nonetheless it was nice to meet together after a two week hiatus.  The discussion was lively as well.

On Sunday our service worker in Gitega, Melody, also came down and stayed with us as she and I were going to have a meeting with partners on Monday morning.  It was an advisory committee meeting on the Peacebuilding Institute that is run by the partner she is seconded to.  It seemed to go well and among other things, she unveiled the website she had created for it.  (Great Lakes Peacebuilding Institute.)

The meeting lasted most of the day and Rebecca and I even had dinner with one of our Rwanda partners who had come down for it. 

I did start the blog afterwards but fell asleep before I could finish it.  The sermon on Sunday had lifted my spirits considerably and I felt the rhythm of disappointment and joy is not so out of balance that I want to run away or curl up in a shell for too long.

Today is Tuesday and started with a very refreshing swim after missing most of last week.  The morning was routine for a change and at lunch I actually met an expat. who was selling a camera and had advertised it on a Bujumbura professionals site.  I bought it from her so I once again can make photos.  (Sorry for the dirth this week.)

In the afternoon I went back to work and to pay some bills but got caught in a terrible rainstorm on the way home.  I am always wary of accidents on days like this and was driving cautiously when the young woman darted out from between 2 stopped cars on the other side of the road and without so much as glancing, ran right into my path.  I slammed on the brakes and skidded to a stop, hitting her as the car came to a full halt.

This is like a worst nighmare here and there are many horror stories of drivers being dragged out of cars and beaten to death after hitting a pedestrian.  I always dreaded the thought of what I would do in such a situation.  Would I get out?  Drive off and look for a police officer? 

Surprisingly, I seem to have an auto-pilot that kicks in in such emergencies, maybe it is from EMT training.  I immediately stopped and jumped out without thinking about what would happen to me.  The woman was conscious and seemed shocked, lying on the ground but not obviously injured seriously as she was moving around.  I went to help her up and get her into the car to take her to the hospital.

I had almost succeeded when 3 other guys ran up to help as well.  One was yelling ‘sister’, ‘sister’!  They got into the car with us after helping her in and I sped off to the nearest hospital.  (Bumerec for any Burundi expat readers.)

We helped her in and we were taken immediately to a room and she was seen by a doctor who ordered  some X-rays.  Her brother talked to me outside in the lobby while we waited.  He said that they were coming back from church and she had crossed after them.  He said she was his big sister.  He said they were all University students.

After a while we got the x-ray results.  I paid for all care which came to under $15 for an ER visit, Xray and some painkillers.  The doctor said there were no serious injuries and she would be fine. 

We were all relieved and I offered to file a police report, but they were all against it.  When we went out to the parking lot the young woman’s mother arrived and the girl went into the car in which her mother came.  The brother talked to me a bit privately and I knew he would want a bit of money for helping.  He also asked for some money to replace her shoe which had been destroyed.  I was happy to oblige and gave him another $30 in francs.  He walked away with his friends and I went to say good-bye to the girl and her mother.  I told them that I had given her brother something for her to replace her shoes.  Her mother and her looked at each other perplexed and she said:  “That guy was not my brother, those 3 guys that jumped in the  car with us were total strangers to me.”

I did give the young woman my business card, but she seemed to be OK.  I left feeling the way I seem to feel a lot here---Ambivalent.---Relieved that I had been spared something worse; I cannot imagine having to live with the guilt of killing someone by hitting them in a car.  But on the other hand, I was a victim as well.  At a time of feeling very vulnerable and trying my best to do the right thing, someone had come along and extracted, once again, a bit of blood from my carotid artery.

I talked to my colleague Felix about it afterward.  He said that it was extremely common in a bad accident that there will be among first responders a fair number of thieves who take advantage of the opportunity to help victims to be able to steal their things.

I think I will be ready for a little cultural recess by summer.  Hopefully things will be less hairy between now and then.

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Minotaurs

Family self portrait taken on our trip to Ijenda.

I see the Easter post continuing to hang on my site and I want to move on.  There are definitely times that I feel more inspired and full of creative enthusiasm to see our daily experiences here through the prism of narrative.  Maybe the fact that we have had a relatively quiet time post Easter had not given me much to write about. 

It is true that this season is normally associated on our work calendar with some travel to some country in our MCC region (Central West Africa).  In the past this has included Nigeria, Burkina Faso, and the Congo (DRC).   But since we had a sub-regional meeting a couple weeks ago, these meetings have been moved to the fall. 

Not having to travel is a welcome change, quite frankly and with the kids off from school for two weeks, we have decided to spend some time at home doing some projects like painting the porch.  Rebecca and I have switched off going to work in the mornings while the other has watched the kids, but on Thurday we took a couple of comp. days to spend some time in the cooler climate upcountry in the town of Ijenda.  This is a place we have been on several occasions and I have dubbed it the Switzerland of Africa with its rolling pastures and cool weather.  It is a great place to get away because of the spectacular views and the possibility of hiking into the hills without attracting a large crowd of on-lookers who follow you around.

We went up on Thursday afternoon and arrived just before dinner.  There is a nice little guest house up there called Ciella lodge with a restaurant.  One nice thing about it is the large circular fireplace in the restaurant.  It is always amazing to me how inviting a warm fire is in this hill climate.  The rainy season can add a clamminess to the feeling of cold, but it also clears the dust out of the air and makes for spectacular panoramic views from the high hill where the Ciela lodge is located.

The first evening, after checking in, we found that there would be one issue, which was the lack of food on the menu.  In fact I found it a bit amusing that the server even brought me the large multi-page menu and let me go through a series of orders:  Do you have the potage? No.  Do you have grilled chicken? No, no chicken at all.  How about fish?  No, no fish.  What do you have then?  Beef brochettes.  Can we get French fries with that?  No, we only have banana fries. 

“OK, then we will have that.”  And we did.  As I said, the atmosphere and the chance to play some games with the kids like Carcisonne by the warm fire made it worth it. 

The next day we went for a hike.  It ended up being about 4 hours and we packed a small lunch along the way.   I was impressed that both of the boys did well in walking and no one asked to be carried.  In fact, it was really amazing to see how much they loved to be up there.  They had been there before, but now they have a real memory of the place and a longing to go back and repeat things they have done there.  Hiking included many stops along the way to try to scale the ‘cliff’ between the edge of the road and the place it is carved out of the side of the hill.  There are also several embankments for them to climb down and some hilltop views that they like. 

We arrived at our lunch destination after about 2 hours of hiking.  I was quite stunned to see that it was such a clear day that I could actually see all the way back to Lake Tanganyika and the mountains of Congo on the other side.  It would have been about 40 miles away.  After about a half hour of lunch, we headed back.  We were lucky it did not rain until we actually got back to the hotel. 

That evening the food problem was a bit worse.  I call the problem the mzungu dilemma.  This happens when a local staff person feels very disempowered (probably because of a bad experience before) and finds himself trying to promise something he thinks mzungu clients want, while knowing that it is impossible.  We try to avoid this by being clear about what is available and really trying to help the person feel that they can be open and honest with us, but it rarely works.

In this case, we ordered dinner early, at 4:30, to be ready at 6:30.  We asked what they had and they said still only brochettes and fries, but that the ‘patron’ was coming with more stuff.  We ordered the brochettes and fries but said if the patron arrived with some vegetables we would like some spinach too.   (That was our fatal error.)

When we arrived in the restaurant at 6:30, nothing seemed to be ready, not even the fire.  We waited a full hour and then someone started making the fire.  We also heard the car of the patron pulling up.  By 8:30pm, after playing many games with the kids at the table, Rebecca went back to the kitchen to see what was happening.  When she went back the staff immediately rushed out with our brochettes and fries (no veggies).  

We were baffled at first that this all took 4 hours (2 hours late) for something that they had already made.  My theory is that we created a mzungu dilemma for the server when he was unable to decide whether a timely arrival of dinner or vegetables were more important.  He ultimately decided we would want the vegetables, so he waited for the patron to arrive from Bujumbura, after which they began preparing veggies.  Rebecca’s appearance in the kitchen made him realize he had misjudged and they ran out with the food.

It was a disappointing meal to say the least as the food was cold and late, and still did not include everything we wanted.  What made it sadder though is that recurring problem we have of getting people to just tell us what, among less than favorable options we have to choose from.  Instead, I know that they were hustling and stressing out to arrive at this unsatisfactory outcome.   On the side of lessons learned, I would say that as development workers we probably do the same thing when we do not involve beneficiaries in the planning, execution and evaluation of a project we are 'doing for them'.

Despite this meal, though, the hotel itself, the garden surrounding it, and the place really made it worth staying.  The kids really added to the pleasure of being there by their sheer delight at being able to play in the garden.  Admitedly, their computer game infatuation is getting a bit intense in Bujumbura.  Without the computer though they spent many hours out doors playing make-believe.  Their favorite game was building a nest on top of a stack of rocks where they pretended to be various things from T-rexs to eagles to Minotaurs.  (Oren’s current infatuation is Minotaurs—from The Chronicles on Narnia.)  He can often be heard snorting around the house and swinging his head around like it has horns.

Other activities included board and card games, especially Carcisone, and water coloring which they love to do.  Generally they also got along better with each other than they do in Bujumbura.

We left on Saturday morning and headed back to Bujumbura under great protest from the children who wanted to stay another day.  (Rebecca and I considered it but dreaded the thought of ordering another meal there.)  We did some cursory exploration of other venues up there but concluded that Ciella Lodge is far and away the best place to be when one goes up to visit.

We continued to work on painting the porch as a family on Saturday afternoon then Rebecca took the kids to the ‘zoo’ in the afternoon so I could work a little more quickly on the painting.  We fell asleep watching Prince Caspian early in the evening.

Sunday was a nice day, Simon Guillebaud was preaching the last in a series on the Holy Spirit and challenged us with the question of whether we really come ready to ‘encounter God’ at church on Sunday morning.  It was followed by communion.

I don’t know how ready I was to encounter God but it was the first Sunday in I don’t know how many months that Rebecca and I were able to stay in the service while both kids went down to Sunday school to their respective classes.  It was wonderfully refreshing to be able to be an adult in church once in a while.

Sunday afternoon was a continuation of the painting but we were looking forward to dinner which we shared with our Danish friends Thomas and Naja.  Oren and David love to go over to their house to play with Elias and Aviaja as well as their dogs and many toy safari animals.

The adults talked quite a while after dinner while the kids watched a movie (Prince Caspian).  We returned home late, but since Monday was still part of the kids’ Spring break.

Monday I went to work in the morning while Oren spent much of the day working on a homemade chess set based on the Chronicles of Narnia characters.  The king was Asland, a minotaur was the Queen, Giants were bishops, centaurs were knights and griffins were the rooks.  The pawns were dwarves.  He even made and colored his own chess board.  He does enjoy playing chess has is good enough to even beat me on occasion.

Tuesday it was nice to go swimming again and we tag teamed work.  I did take Oren to karate.  He is getting close to his yellow belt and I did not want him to miss too much during the break.

Teri-Lynn, our SALTer also came back from a week in Rwanda where she visited the other two SALTers.  We will take her back up to the Hope School on Thursday and enjoy another family time up country at an old haunt that the children love—the Burasira seminary.

It has been nice to have some extra time as a family, but it will also be good to be back in the routine with school and work.  There is always so much to do and so little time in the office.

Up From the Gravy a Rose

Oren showing off his Easter Bunny bun he made at an egg dying party on Saturday.

If I had to begin to characterize the Easter we celebrated this year, I would say that it probably lacked the piety we have been capable of in the past.  There were several reasons for this, one is that we no longer play quite the roles in our church that we had in other settings.  Also Easter traditions are a bit different here, but the real culprit, I think, was exhaustion from the very long intense month of travel and hosting. 

We did not even make an attempt to find a Good Friday service.  This was the first evening we had had with our kids in I don’t know how long, and there really are no ‘family’ Good Friday services I am aware of here. 

We watched a movie together and fell asleep shortly thereafter.  I had taught two ballet classes earlier in the day to very small groups.  Friday was also the last day of school before a two week break so many of the children had already left.

Thursday Oren received his midterm grades.  We were generally pleased to see that his French had improved since the last quarter.  We felt that 75% on reading, grammar and vocabulary in one’s second language taught in that language was pretty good and hard earned as we had kept him on his homework diligently since the beginning of the year.  His math scores were nearly 100% and it seems that math comprehension is not affected at all by language.

He has had it tough in school this semester because his main teacher had to leave the country and return to Belgium for a family matter.  He has had a new teacher in the past month.  She is being well coached by the school, but I think it is an adjustment to become familiar with a new teacher.  Fortunately it does not seem to have adversely affected him thus far.

Thursday evening Rebecca and I were treated to a date night when our friends Tim and Jeanette took our kids for the evening.  We went to an Ethiopian restaurant near Oren’s school and enjoyed the food very much.  We have been relishing our evening meal for the past two months because of our Lenten fast which has been no breakfast or lunch except Sundays .  We were more than a bit pleased that the next, Good Friday, would be the last day of observance of that ritual. 

The holidays are welcome to all of us it seems.  Even Rebecca and I are ready for a bit of a break from the routine.  We have not had enough intentional time with the children in the past month and look forward to making up for that the next two weeks.

We are not going anywhere far but will do an overnight upcountry for a couple days to get out of the Bujumbura heat, probably to Ijenda, about an hour away.

The rest of the time we will spend around here.  Rebecca and I still need to switch off doing work during the week.  I am also going to do several painting projects including the front porch and a couple bed rooms.  We have had some masons in repairing some of the cement on the walls and I want to get them repainted once they are done.

I had done some paint shopping this week and always consider it an adventure to poke around the hardware stores in the quartier Asiatique to get the supplies I need.  I had commented in past posts about the highly eclectic assortment of goods any given store will have, for instance, a paint store will usually not sell brushes, rollers, or masking tape.  But I have noticed some new and interesting trends.  I would say that there a few common denominators and I would venture to say that if a store only had two items in stock, one would be a toilet bowl, and the other would be a solar panel.  (I would add that finding a seat for a toilet bowl in Bujumbura is next to impossible.)  I cannot say why these two items seem to be in the inventory of every store somewhere, but there it is.

The paint store I have frequented in the past is now closed as well, so I am having to try to find matching colors for the house from a different company.  The primary color of our house is that tropical crème (which looks like a mildewed yellowing white) but there are a surprising number of shades of it and matching is a challenge.

Saturday was a nice family day.  We had our normal yoga routine at our friend’s house who works for the UN.  We hung around and chatted for a while David took a dip in their pool.  In the afternoon we had a real treat: A giant Easter Egg dying party with a large group of our missionary and other friends.    It was hosted by the Hoffman’s a German missionary family with kids our sons ages who go to the Ecole Belge as well.  There were another 30 people there as well from school and church.  It was like a bit reunion as most of us see each other in some capacity during the week. 

The kids had a great time dying eggs that each family brought.  They also made some bread in the shape of bunnies that was baked and eaten while they were there.  I wish I could convey to those in the US and Canada how completely un-commercial holidays like Easter and Christmas are.  They are celebrated in churches as High Holy Days, but there is just not a lot of merchandise surrounding them.  It is honestly refreshing and does inspire much creative thinking to share some of our traditions with our kids.  Definitely 'old school'!

For my part, I did want to give the kids an Easter basket and was lucky to have found in Kigali a couple weeks ago, a small bag of egg shaped chocolate.  It was only remotely Eastery candy I could find.   I bought it and brought it home to put in some baskets for the kids.

With the dyed eggs and the chocolate eggs we had sufficient supplies to make two small Easter baskets (using some local woven baskets here) and we set them out on Saturday night after the kids were asleep.  There were also a few small presents left by Zachee, Bridget and Timmy as well that we put in a small bag by the baskets.

They were both up at the crack of dawn and were very excited about the baskets.  We did prevent them from eating all the chocolate before breakfast.

Church was very nice, although there is not a gigantic bump in attendance one sees in churches in the US.  There were a few more suits and the sermon was spot-on but by and large it was similar to most other Sundays.

Rebecca was teaching Sunday School that day and had a good lesson which she felt went very well.  It included making a cross out of rolled-up homemade paper beads that the girls really seemed to like.

After church we went to the beach and stayed into the late afternoon.  It was nice to be there as a family, and we did see some of our other friends out there doing the same thing.

On Sunday evening, (our small group is on a two week hiatus), Rebecca and I watched an episode of Downton Abbey.  It is in the very intense last weeks of season three and we have done our best not to let friends ‘spoil’ the surprises for us.  I will say the tragedies on the show are getting me to the point that I woke up Tuesday morning vaguely sad about some aquaintances having marriage difficulties amidst other tragedy and realized I was ruminating on the characters of Downton Abbey.

Fortunately right after the show my parents called us on Sunday night to wish us Happy Easter.  My mom is actually quite funny, often by accident, but does seem to channel Erma Bombeck at times (one of her idols back in the day.)  She was thrilled to catch us on Skype and told us excitedly that she had great news:  “Guess what?  I have great news today…. Well I guess the great news is that Christ the Lord is risen, but I really want to tell you about the new polyester bathing suit I found on sale, its hypoallergenic!!”

She and my dad told us about their Easter and asked us about ours.  Rebecca told her about our service and how the praise team did a very nice a cappella rendition in French of the song Up From the Grave He Arose.  My mom laughed and recollected to us her childhood memories of singing the words UP FROM THE GRAVY A ROSE.

 A fitting tribute to our less than pious Easter.   

Here is a snip of our choir singing Up From the Grave He Arose led by Jean Niyondiko.  I think it is truly one of the best Easter songs written and well done by our BICC praise team.